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What Each Cornell Major Will Be Day Drinking Over the Study Period

It’s the calm before the storm–that weird lull between the final round of prelims and the study period when you really panic about how unprepared you are. Summer looks like its actually getting here and you’ve postponed all your work till after Slope Day. What better way to celebrate this than smuggling drinks into class and spending your days trashed? But what should you drink? The agony of choice. Here are our suggestions for what you should drink depending on your major.

5.) AEM–G&T:
Let’s be perfectly honest here. AEM majors would sort into the Slytherin House. American Psycho anyone? And studies have proven because scientists clearly have nothing better to do, that gin is the drink of psychopaths. So, we recommend a classic gin and tonic for all our beloved snakes to enjoy in class.

4.) Hotelies–Wine:
Does this really need any explanation? Insert a gratuitous joke about hotelies, napkin folding, and the wines class (we’re sick of thinking of them all by ourselves). Just walk into the Statler on a Wednesday and see if the smell of wine doesn’t overwhelm you.

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3.) Engineers–Salty Bird:
The name here is pretty self-explanatory. Walk over to the engineering quad, pick an engineer at random and try to strike up a conversation. We guarantee that in under a minute you’ll be assailed by an intolerable amount of salt. The ingredients for a Salty Bird are Campari, aged rum, pineapple juice, lime juice, syrup and a pinch of salt. You engineers would probably prefer a bit more than a pinch though. Try adding the other ingredients to the Dead Sea, that might do the trick.

2.) Any Language Major–Martini:
During the Cold War, MI6 recruited their spies from the languages department at Cambridge and Oxford. While Cornell is a far cry from Cambridge, indulge your inner fantasy and go ahead and sip on a vodka martini–shaken, not stirred.

1.) Pre-Med–Everclear:
It’s 190 proof. God knows you need it.

So there you have it. Five great drinks for five really shit majors. Us helpful folks at The Black Sheep strike again with valuable information. Drink up!

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