Fall, inarguably the best time at Cornell, is upon us. And with the falling leaves and the falling GPAs comes the best non-turkey centric autumnal holiday: Halloween. So this year, instead of being a black cat or Donald Trump (don’t think you’re original), try dressing up with one of these Cornell Halloween costumes only us nerds understand.
7.) Bill Nye:
Bill Nye is everyone’s favorite alumnus. He’s smart, handsome, and the man can rock a bowtie. Choose this costume to realize your dreams of one day being important enough to speak at commencement.
Items Needed: Bowtie, blazer, some beakers/ other science stuff, an unshakable love of learning.
6.) A quarter-card:
Want to stand on Ho Plaza and be ignored? Boy, do we have a costume for you! Dressing as a quarter-card will ensure that you annoy your fellow students and harm the environment.
Items Needed: A poster to hang over your body, with a dark blue background and unreadable black ink, asking you to attend a cultural dance performance of some kind.
5.) A.D. White (statue form):
Co-founder and first president of Cornell, dressing as the A.D. statue is quite the undertaking. Bonus points if you can get a friend to dress up as the Ezra Cornell Statue and stare at you from across the party.
Items Needed: A long robe, a tub of greenish/ brown paint with which you will cover your skin, hair, and clothes.
4.) A.D. White (as a person, not a statue):
Items Needed: Um, maybe just like a big beard and an overcoat? You could try, but no one is going to get it.
3.) “The curve”:
Ah, the dreaded curve, making smart kids feel underqualified and over-competitive since 1865. To achieve this feeling for Halloween, go around holding up pictures of really pretty girls next to only sort of pretty girls (and really buff guys next to puny guys). For one night their feelings of academic inferiority will be feelings on physical inferiority as well!
Item(s) Needed: A thirst for the pain of others.
2.) A freshman running late for class:
We’ve all seen them, and we’ve all been them. Running frantically across the suspension bridge, somehow sweating despite the frigid temperatures, lanyard swinging violently to and fro with each step – truly magnificent.
Items Needed: Oversized backpack with 6 textbooks, “Class of 2020” tee shirt, lanyard with 4 sets of keys attached.
1.) Art installation on the Arts Quad:
More aesthetically pleasing than the “Space Dildo” of yesteryear, but every bit as useless. This piece, entitled “Urchin” is made up of a bunch of white plastic lawn chairs that you can’t sit on. It is oversized and pointless and so magically Cornell.
Items Needed: Green tee shirt and pants, hundreds of small white doll chairs to glue all over your body in a confusing pattern.