Cornell Dining is one of the best in the nation, somehow, but besides not being the lowest ranked Ivy in dining, what really matters is which Cornell dining hall is perfect for each Cornell college. Time to find out which dining hall you should frequent based on the collective personality of your school.
7.) Arts and Sciences – Libe Cafe:
Center of attention, in the middle of the action, always bustling. With so much happening 24/7 in this college, you’ll feel right at home in the midst of all these people looking for a way to escape their responsibilities. Feel as if you are better than everyone because you paid for your muffin at Libe and attend of the private colleges at Cornell.
6.) Engineering – RPCC:
You chose this major, with 20-credit semesters and zero social life, did you expect not to suffer when it comes to food too. Break free, like Ariana Grande, from your engineering island. Hike to North, fight the freshman with dirty forks for a space at the pancake bar, and sample food that’s mediocre compared to West.
5.) CALS – Dairy Bar:
Of course, if you belong to the cow college then you will absolutely LOVE cow’s gift to people, dairy. What better food to prepare you for your future life on the farm than Cornell’s own unique ice cream? Taste and embrace your hay covered future.
4.) Hotel – Keeton:
You’re a class act, and your dining hall of choice reflects that. Keeton provides comfort and a relaxing environment. The best of both worlds. A nice atmosphere mixed with pure fear that you’ll have to stand in line for the next half hour. Such a long line that you may, in fact, give up and eat at the cereal bar. So sit back, relax and enjoy the knowledge that you’re basically Hannah Montana if Hannah Montana had to eat crusty off-brand cereal.
3.) ILR – Big Red Barn:
It’s big and it’s red, just like your communist heart (here’s where you kiss your copy of The Communist Manifesto). Enjoy the rustic barn sitting with your closest comrades before dusting off your hammer and sickle and heading back to your totally normal plans. No suspicious revolutions happening here.
2.) Human Ecology – Oakenshields:
HumEc is composed of a random assortment of miscellaneous majors, which is best embodied by the dining hall with no personality. Hot dogs one day then lasagna the next? What the hell? This makes no sense. Bob your head to the fire playlist, chewing your tasteless food that you overpaid for and bond with other personality-less people. You’ll be very happy together.
1.) Johnson School of Business – Trillium:
The perfect real-world business practice! Here you can gain skills in cutting people off in line and charming your way to extra cheese in your quesadilla. Finesse that $11 salad, because once you sell out then $11 for a salad will seem essentially free. Negotiate that coffee. Overpay for your lunch. The grind never stops.
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