Valentine’s Day is just around the corner, and Buffs on a budget are scrambling to treat that special Boulderite right without breaking the bank. And what better way to show your affection for a CU student than with a CU pun? For the financially challenged romantics, here are five free CU-themed Valentines.
5.) The tried and true:
This is a classic CU pickup line is so classic that it may even be seen as cheap or lazy for how simple it is. Simplicity does not mean unsuccessful though, and this flirtatious comment could still score you a date from that hunk at the Rec. And as long as he says yes, who cares if he doesn’t understand the play on words?
4.) The relatable one:
This line is guaranteed to work on any CU student, because every Buff knows what it’s like to walk the tempting Pearl Mall and gaze at all of its overpriced books, clothes, trinkets, and more. It also helps that basically every Buff is a golddigger, so odds are the recipient of this Valentine will swoon when they hear that you’re willing to shower them in materialism.
3.) This one:
A perfect Valentine for those Buffs in relationships who want to take it to the next level. Letting your loved one know that you are willing to withstand their vomit, and that you appreciate CU-Boulder’s prized jewel, Ralphie, will undoubtedly show that special someone that you are someone to keep around.
Pair this message with a slice or two of Boss Lady’s mac n’ cheese pizza, and you will be 110% GETTING IT this February 14th. After all, who could deny a man unafraid of empowered women and pizza? PIZZA!!
1.) The serious one:
The only reason you wait in line for the Purgatory is because you love the Purgatory, so be careful about who you say this one to. You can’t just fling this Valentine around, because it means business. Like, L-word business. In fact, this Valentine is so serious that it can legally marry two Buffs.
These five Valentines are proof that dating is not just for the rich. Which is great news, since CU is really into exploiting its students for more than they’re worth, until every single alum is in soul-crushing debt. But just because your soul is crushed does not mean your heart is! So get out there and be vulnerable this Valentine’s Day. These memes will even do it for you.
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