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5 Reasons Why CU Just Like, Honestly Isn’t That Great

The University of Colorado is a fine school. The people are happy, skinny, hot, and sometimes nice. There are so many reasons to be proud to go to such a prestigious University, but at the same time, it kind of sucks. Sometimes you may feel guilty for going to CU.  No worries, we feel you. Here are five reasons that CU really isn’t that great, to validate that sophomore sadness that has you considering transferring.

5.) It’s pretty cult-y:
When you received that huge packet in the mail that said, “Congratulations on your admittance to CU-Boulder: a place where “Sko” is your way of life,” you never thought the second part of that phrase was committal. Then, you came to the school you realized it was 50% fun and games, and 50% hatred of the everyone that isn’t us. The admissions group should really have mentioned that selling your soul to the Buff gods was part of this whole college deal. There’s always a smidge of hope that the CU life won’t always be this way, but that will be the same day frat boys don’t beer pong at 12 p.m. every day.

4.) We’re all talk:
CU has this nasty habit of thinking it’s awesome but has no important way of backing that statement. Football? Sucks. Basketball? Sucks. Astronauts and Nobel Prize winners? I mean, those numbers are impressive, but who really cares? The only thing CU has really set records in are student MIP rates and shot gunning contests. It’s hard to be proud of going to an institute of higher education to expand your world view when the only thing that has grown is your beer belly and your debt.

3.) Everyone’s mom is prettier than you:
Boulder is one of the happiest towns in America. Is it because everyone is fit, or because there’s a lot of growth opportunity? Possibly, but it seems to be because everyone’s wife or mother is super frickin’ flames. CU Boulder seems to not only be the hub for learning and experimentation, but also a hub for plastic surgery patients and millionaires-by-marriage. It’s about time most of the student population realizes that their city is a haven for people that don’t necessarily need to go to college.

2.) No +, only -:
Other than how grossly huge the campus is, this must be every Buff’s bane of existence. Oh, the places you could have gone if you had gotten a C in that class rather than a C-. The CU grading system is the entire source of proof that the university administration aims to troll its students. It’s almost like every time a student can feel their paper reach the sweet, sweet status of an A, their grading dreams get crushed by the heavy, and annoying A-.

1.) Our mile-high acceptance rate:
Ah, yes the cherry on top. Not only are none of your assignments sufficient but you’re also kind of not special. Remember when you were reading that same cult acceptance letter, and you thought no one could touch you? Well it turns out about 86% of the people your age can touch you, and that most likely includes the dude that was in your English class that would “scratch” the inside of his nose because he had an “itch.” And guess what – he can also touch you with that finger.

Do you feel a little bit better about going to CU? Yeah, nobody else really does either. Hopefully this list of reasons why CU is horrible will reassure you that things could be much worse. Even though, CU is horrible, people still generally seem to have fun, which seems to be the grand lesson this university has to offer.

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