5 Reasons to be Thankful You Don’t Go To CSU
Thanksgiving is rounding the corner and coming at us faster than Phillip Lindsay through the O-Line, so it’s time you start thinking up what you’re thankful for. No one likes the daggers from grandma when you say you’re thankful for barely passing tests — both finals and otherwise— and weed being legal. So, The Black Sheep is here to remind you why you’re truly #blessed you don’t go to that shithole down the road, Colorado State University.
5.) Our Campus is Clearly Superior:
Honestly, there’s really no comparison. CU is beautiful at any time of the year, with the Flatirons in the background, the red brick buildings, and the creek running through campus. CSU looks like a sad little community college, in the middle of a red-neck town that pretty much just radiates boredom and despair. It’s so ugly that the picture you see above was literally the most attractive picture I could find, and when you search “CSU campus” on Google, a good 30% of the pictures will actually be of CU.
4.) We’re Ranked Higher in Basically… Everything:
U.S. News ranks CU Boulder as #92 in the country, while CSU is all the way up at #129. Forbes puts us at #120 while CSU is at a sad #297. Imagine how anticlimactic it would be to have to tell your family at Thanksgiving that you’re going to almost the 300th best school in the country. Really just doesn’t have the same effect.
3.) Fort Collins Sucks:
Not only is it ugly, Fort Collins is plain boring. No Pearl St. no Hill, and almost entirely inhabited by cranky old white men. Anyone who says Fort Collins is fun is either absolutely wasted, or blazed out of their mind. But you can’t really blame them, what else is there to do there other than develop alcoholism?
2.) The Party Scene:
Consistently ranked among the best party schools in the nation, Boulder is known for being one of the most lit colleges in the country. Have you ever heard anyone even mention a CSU party? Some might find Boulder’s insane party scene as a bad thing, but obviously we know how to work hard and play hard considering our higher ranking and higher graduation rate.
1.) The Rise is Real:
CU beat CSU 7 to 44 in the Rocky Mountain Showdown last year and we are about to kick some major ass this year on the football front. Plus, we have Ralphie. Need we say more?
So this Thanksgiving as everyone is going around saying what they’re thankful for, be sure to mention being thankful for CU Boulder and how great it is. Especially if you have a cousin who goes to CSU— and if you do, remember to talk basic and slow, they’re a little behind us Buffs.
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