As finals appear on the horizon it’s time for us to collectively switch from full-time Facebook browsing to nearly-full-time Facebook browsing intermittently interrupted by actual studying. The go-to location is Norlin Library, an imposing structure full of essay-writing students and not quite enough seats or electrical outlets. But don’t worry if you can’t find a spot in this hall of last minute homework, we’ve got you covered.
5.) Norlin Quad:
Norlin Quad is a vast expanse of picnickers, layabouts, and the rare legitimately hard working student. It is, in other words, as vanilla as it gets. Its atmosphere is a cross between a library and a local park frequented exclusively by middle class families with overbearing parents. It’s the perfect location for working on your anthropology study as you examine bored tour groups from a distance, all receiving the same bland history lesson in front of Old Main.
If you’d rather have a friend while studying – and not one of those fake human friends – try out Kittredge, land of ponds, bridges, and (un)friendly waterfowl. In addition to being quiet enough to induce minor sensory deprivation, Kittredge offers a wide selection of ducks and geese for your mindless ogling pleasure when you don’t feel like memorizing another linear algebra formula. Be mesmerized by the way they slowly swim about, pick bugs out of the ground, and shit on every available surface. Attempt to become their acquaintance, only to be rebuked as they either fly away or attack you. It’s a Norm Gunderson wet dream, a veritable orgy of Anseriformes. What more could one desire?
3.) Farrand Field:
Farrand Field is a place for catching things, such as Frisbees, footballs, or the $500 drone whose battery gave out and is currently careening toward you. Some semblance of productivity could certainly be accomplished here, as long as one doesn’t dwell too much on figuring out the rules to the bizarre trampoline-ball game every frat boy appears to be playing. Put on those headphones to drown out the nearby music kids practicing and get to work!
2.) The Unfinished CASE Building:
Some people prefer background noise while working, like music or rain; however, only CASE can claim to emit the unique sonic combination of construction equipment, car horns, and the sound of millions of dollars being wasted. Nothing allows one’s mind to focus like a jackhammer or an excavator. White noise aficionados be warned: this unique opportunity will only be available for a few more months, or a year, or maybe ten years. Honestly, no one really knows when it’s going to be completed. Just make sure to not get run over by a bus while crossing Euclid Avenue to get there.
1.) That Desk In Your Room:
Does our living space become what we are, or do we become what our living space is? Either way, the answer doesn’t look good when considering the piles of laundry strewn about,the disgusting floor, or the desk whose bare surface you haven’t seen in a month. To study here is to focus your mind while sitting inside a three-dimensional representation of your inability to focus on anything at all. It’s a sort of meta-study session, an exercise of examination of character, followed by a swift yet feeble rejection of said character. Nothing could be more demoralizing; and yet, the fever of existential dread may just be enough to power you through the final two pages of that English project.
Even with so many potential study spots and so few excuses not to study, you still won’t study until the night before the exam when you have a stress induced panic attack and call your mom crying. But hey, as college students, we’re all gifted with the innate ability to panic-cram an entire semester’s worth of skipped lectures and unread textbook chapters into our brains, if only long enough to turn in our scantron and leave to spend 3 glorious months in our hometown. Get creative with your cramming, Buffs.
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