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CU ENVD Students Celebrate Construction Of 2 New Campus Bridges With Epic Darty

At a total cost of $10.7 million, the University of Colorado plans to develop two major bridges near the school, to further the ease of commuting to and from the north side of campus. While the entire CU community should be excited for the developments, one CU subculture that is more than ecstatic are the eclectic students of the ENVD program.

“As an environmental design student, I get especially giddy when the University has plans to combine efficiency, accessibility, modernity, and concrete in a concentrated space,” a senior in ENVD, Bruce Flower, comments. In order to celebrate the great achievement of new infrastructure for the university, students involved in the ENVD program plan to throw a “2018 Bridge Bash.”

“While most of the project won’t be finalized until 2020, we thought that the approval for the was enough cause for celebration,” comments Bruce Flower again. “We plan for there to be everything an ENVD major would want in a party: a ton of kush, Jell-O shots, diagrams and models, a house, and Freeride babes. Not to mention a chocolate fountain created from materials that we cut at the SINC.” The party is planned to take place somewhere in a modern apartment on the Hill, and all attendees are required to bring at least one milk alternative, such as almond or soy.

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“I’m very proud that the students involved in the ENVD program are such a close knit bunch,” says the ENVD program director. “I can’t help but hype myself up about the bridge project. What I think speaks to me the most, is the fact that people will be able to walk with more ease to campus than ever before. Not to mention, the aesthetic that the University conveys is harmonious and elegant— these bridges are about to be epic.” The program director mentioned that he had already marked the Bridge Bash on his calendar, hired a babysitter, and is looking most forward to playing bridge related games such as the limbo.

Prepare to be invited to the only party that will ever celebrate the erection of two bridges. Make sure to bring hella kush, and a willingness to be around ENVD students and have no idea what their talking about. The party is forecasted to be in the middle of summer — prime darty, as well as bridge building season. “I think these bridges are really symbolic,” Bruce Flower contemplates, “they show that with every end, there’s a new beginning.”


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