As the school year comes to a close and the summer sunshine attempts to overtake the relentless winter weather in Colorado, the season of Facebook posts trying to sell everything from bongs that have “only been used like twice” to couches bought on Craigslist has begun. With this comes the seemingly endless stream of posts pleading for potential renters to sublease the apartments of students who are going back to their parents’ house in Boston for the summer. With so many choices, it takes a stroke of luck- or serious real estate talent- to land a decent renter. One CU student has even decided to change his course of study after discovering his newfound gift for real estate when he sublet hit apartment on The Hill.
Chase Karakas, former communications major, says he was inspired to make the switch when he successfully found a renter after posting about his dilapidated bedroom and shared bathroom on 12th and Pleasant.
“Honestly, the place is a shithole and my roommates are dicks…I’m really lucky I’m so good at talking people into things. And then it hit me: If I’m so dope at this, shouldn’t I be in a business that does that, like, all the time?”
When asked about the specific traits that he think will benefit him in the business, Karakas says, “I’m good at selling stuff. Last year I sold my “lightly used” mattress- it’s a very heavily used mattress, if you know what I’m sayin”.
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“Oh, also I’ve been told on more than one occasion that I can be very persuasive. I’m like, a soft 6 and routinely have sex with hard 9s,” he continues.
Professor Edenfield Calous, who regularly teaches the “Intro to Real Estate” lecture, sighs and says, “I see this every year. Some high-rollin’, weed smokin’ college bro that thinks he’s a big shot because he sold his coffee table to some unknowing sophomore girl,” he shrugs and continues, “He won’t last. This is a serious, dog-eat-dog business, not some drunk college girl at a Hawaiian-themed Theta Xi party”.
Only time will tell if Karakas will make it in the business, have a real relationship with one of these hard 9s, or actually attend Calous’ 9 a.m. lecture that doesn’t take attendance.
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