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CU Tells Critics Of Inconvenient Advising Hours: ‘Everything In College Should Be A Challenge’

With the 2017-2018 school year almost finished, everyone who’s re-enrolling for the fall is scrambling to get their lives, and their schedules, figured out. In the midst of all the worry of what classes to take, the expansive counseling resources that CU offers never seem to fit in with even one of the 35,000 students’ schedule. Why is it that your EBIO advisor can only meet with you at 7 a.m. on Monday or 12 p.m. on a Wednesday? It’s for your own good, says one CU advisor.

“Mommy and Daddy pay $60,000 a year for me to attend CU and I can’t even get some personal time with my advisor,” says Brittany Boolin, a sophomore art history major.

“Every time my advisor is available, it’s either two weeks out, or only on days when I have classes. Then, when I go to open office hours with some random advisors, there’s always ten people in line in front of me. I’ll get there at the beginning of the two hour window and I’m barely able to talk to someone before the window is closed, and the advisors I do see are too busy itching for their afternoon cigarette.”

Brittany’s struggles are not foreign to many attendees of the university. While students struggle to get the support they need from mentors and staff, they’re obstructed by only 45-minute meeting windows and availability that is as inconvenient as, say, a multi-million dollar buffalo-shaped pool that is closed 9 months out of the year.

“We are aware that counseling hours can be difficult to schedule, but don’t worry, it’s on purpose,” says an administrator for the Center of Academic Advising.

“This doesn’t mean the University necessarily wants this to be a hard process for students. We like to think about it as more of a challenge, per say. As CU students, your admins expect the more dedication and rigor possible in every arena of schooling— we almost want it to be unhealthy. So, think of the inconvenient counseling coordination as more of a chance to show how dedicated you are to your education. Plus, we need to allot enough time from advisors’ schedules to provide them smoking breaks.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure why the University mandates these bogus advising times,” says an advisor for the school of education. “I don’t relish in having to deny students at the door who need help when I need to teach a class, or only having 45 minutes to counsel, but its just how it is. Oftentimes, students arrive 15 minutes late any way. Maybe if my office wasn’t lost in the maze of Duane it would help, but hey, when I take my smoking break I have to go through the same maze, so I understand.”

The University of Colorado has yet to formally comment on the matter. Students will continue to be affected by slim advising hours and insufficient help. The Buff pool continues to suck money, and advisors continue to feed their smoking addictions. Hope may be possible for future Buffs, but right now students must count on skipping class to go to advising meetings, and hope that one day they’ll actually know what the fuck is going on with their degree.

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