Boulder Fashion Week is in full swing, bringing you the most coveted Boulder Spring/Summer 2017 looks and trends from all of your favorite designers like Forever 21, Goodwill, and the dumpster behind your house. Looking to reinvent yourself this summer, now that you’ve finally broken up with that fuckboy in Sig Nu? Still trying to emulate a stereotypical CU Boulder student because you just don’t feel Boulder enough? We’ve compiled all the trendiest and most groundbreaking looks from your favorite designers at CU Boulder Fashion Week to help you out.
The Out-Of-State Frat Boy:
Trying to project an image of wealth, entitlement, and privilege? Lucky for you, the frat boy look is super in this summer! Sperry’s new S/S 17 line will have you wanting to poorly shotgun 3 beers and look chill as fuck while you lounge on the roof the Phi Psi and rate girls as they walk to Pearl! Vineyard Vines also showcased their new summer line, which is exactly the same as the one they released in winter, but with brighter and douchier color palettes. We can’t wait to see what they do next.
Complete the look with a pair of their ugly pastel shorts that show way too much of your skinny, pale thighs and you’ll be the envy of every underclassmen that still thinks frats are cool.
The “It’s Really Expensive To Look This Ratty” Boulder Hippie:
Are you “not like other girls”? Do you think you’re better than every other girl on campus because listen to alternative music, do yoga, and drink kombucha? Then the typical boulder hippie look is perfect for you for this summer. Start with one of Boulder’s top designers, like every thrift store within a 10-mile radius, and go around smelling every article of clothing until you find one that smells like patchouli oil.
Complete the look with accessories like chokers, and necklaces with various crystal pendants. If you really want to go out and completely exemplify the white liberalism that Boulder is famous for, go on and grow some dreads! Don’t worry, there’s so few black people in Boulder that no one will even bother to call you out on your cultural appropriation.
The “I Only Smoke Weed On The Weekends” Sorority Girl:
Want to look blonde, white, and like you have 17.4k Instagram followers just because you have a subpar ass and no self respect? The sorority girl look is back and better than ever this season, with an interesting spin on the classics that whines, “Yeah, I know I’m hot, in a sorority, and am friends with frat guys, but dude, I’m a chill sorority girl.” Frat formal shirts were huge on the sidewalks this season, brought to you by the dudes in Pi Kapp and Chi Psi that are tasked with designing and ordering the most embarrassingly neon shirts on Custom Ink. Don’t bother actually going to a frat formal; ask one of your sorority friends for the link and order them so that you look like a true srat star. Or better yet, steal one from that shit-for-brains brother you kind of hooked up with once.
Complete this classic look with black Lululemon shorts, a high ponytail, Ray Bans, and either Birkenstocks or Nikes. You’ll radiate the “I’m prettier than you and have more friends, sorry,” attitude immediately.
That Asshole That Just Came 2 Centimeters From Hitting You On His Skateboard:
Do you think you’re good at skateboarding even though you actually suck? Do you enjoy eating shit outside of Baker at 2 a.m. and yelling while everyone is trying to sleep? Then the CU skater boy look is perfect for you. You’re not an LA skater, you don’t wear snapbacks and Supreme, you’re just too cool for that! Start this look with an obscure t-shirt from a brand no one has ever heard of with some kind of graphic design on it that makes everyone around you extremely uncomfortable. Grab a pair of shorts that are way too big on you, some kind of Vans, and a hat that you definitely bought from BC Surf & Sport.
To really complete the look, you gotta walk the talk: try your hardest to piss off everyone on campus with your ~mad skills~.
Does the inevitable and unstoppable progression of time send you spiraling into a depressive episode? Does the thought of graduate school applications make you want to throw up? Then avoid thinking about the future and throw it back to high school with this next nostalgic look! First, start with the designer that makes you cringe the most and isn’t popular on campus, so that you stick out like a sore thumb. We suggest Brandy Mellville to really get you feeling like a 16 year old girl.
Pick the most pointless graphic t-shirt you can find (our personal favorite is one that says “California” or “New York” on the front for literally no apparent reason), grab your trusty Lululemon leggings, a pair of white Converse, and straight-iron your hair for the first time in three years. You’ll feel just like you did when you were living at your parents’ house, before you knew what Burnett’s tasted like and how to do your own laundry.
CU is buzzing with fashion this spring! And remember, when all is said and one, no one in this city really gives half a fuck what you’re wearing – it’s all about the ~~content of your character~~!
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