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The 5 Best Places to Have a Mental Breakdown at Norlin


With finals week only a few days away, you may feel an increasing emotional buildup of stress and pain and absolute despair. If you feel the need to have an absolute tantrum, here are the 5 best places in Norlin to absolutely lose your shit:

5.) The Laughing Goat:


You might be embarrassed to break down in stress-tears in front of your fellow, over-caffeinated students, but you’ll quickly realize that if you look closely, every single student in there is also quietly sobbing. There’s a beautiful sense of community in crying with 100 random strangers.


4.) The 3rd Floor Bathroom Next To The Fancy Staircase:


If you’d like a nice, nostalgic flashback to high school, you might want to opt for having your breakdown in a sad, dirty, bathroom stall. Just like you did during lunch when you were 14 on your first day of freshman year!

3.) These Weird Pod Things on the 2nd Floor:


No one really knows what the hell these are, or what the manufacturer was smoking when he made these, but they’re perfect if you’re a shy crier. You have an impressive amount of privacy, and the sounds of study groups downstairs will probably cover up most of your sniffles. It’s basically like your own little colorful cylinder of pain!


2.) The Creepy-Ass Basement:


In stark contrast to the nicely decorated upper floors of the library, Norlin’s basement looks like something straight out of a horror movie. Rows upon rows of empty, lonely, grey shelves accompanied by an eerily quiet atmosphere perfectly exemplify the despair consuming your entire being. You’ll feel right at home here.



This Creepy Sex-Dungeon In the Basement I Found Today:


If you’re really feeling hopeless and dead inside, there’s a fucking terrifying little hole in the wall in the basement that’s the perfect place to have a complete emotional breakdown before your first final. It’s dark, dirty, and depressing. If you want, you can even climb up the later and express your endless sorrow to the people studying in the Laughing Goat through the A/C vent. They won’t be able to see you, and hearing a disembodied voice come out of the wall will probably send them over the edge into insanity, but it’s finals week! We’re all losing our Goddamn minds anyway.


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