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5 Things Trump Would Tweet If He Ever Visited CU

We all know that in 50 years, when our grandchildren are learning about the worst President in history, his mind-bendingly ridiculous tweets will be the only thing about these four years that might bring a little bit of laughter to this dark era we’re living in.s. Of course, laughing at Trump’s absolute insanity as shown through his incoherent Twitter ramblings, we began to think… what would Trump tweet if he came to CU? Here’s five things that we think Trump might tweet if he visited CU.


Trump is notorious for sticking his nose in other people’s relationships- remember all of those tweets about Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart? Yikes. He’s also known for attacking the innocents- and does Phillip DiStefano actually do anything worth attacking? Honestly, if anything, this should probably be about Bruce Benson.


Don’t worry, Don- we will never stop covering you. Our readership loves to know that they”re not the only miserable ones, and we couldn’t help but take advantage of all the not-psycho snowflakes. We’re just waiting for the Secret Service to reach out to us after this one.



We all hate engineers, but this one is just ridiculous. We all know his IQ can’t be any higher than maybe 85. Trump’s fragile ago felt intimidated by that cold concrete building- it reminded him of his soul.


Boulder is known for having some of the nicest and most dope homeless people in the game, but we all know how much Trump hates anyone with a net worth of less than $50,000,000.


Oh Donald… you go after our Sink, we come after you. We’d honestly actually pay to see his reaction if he walked into the Sink and saw Obama’s framed signature on the wall. Ah, we miss you, Barack. #makeobamapresidentagain

Sp that’s a glimpse into Trump’s mind if he ever visited CU… God forbid. Now, all 33,000 of us need to pray, because we could be next.

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