The 5 Worst Places To Be High at CU Boulder

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CU Boulder gets a lot of shit for being the hippie white kid’s school that blazes up with daddy’s credit card. And it’s pretty true. Money, an open campus, legal weed, and juvenile stupidity leads students to earn themselves a badge of honor called public marijuana consumption. But there are still some not-that-chill places to light up in Boulder. Know them and avoid them.

5.) Farrand Field:

This used to become a smoke signal that read “420” from miles away. Sadly, due to few a sticks up the wrong asses and something called the “law,” Farrand is no longer allowed to become Blaze Central for freshmen who are self-proclaimed stoners. Do not smoke here: you will get busted.

4.) Starbucks On College:

Just because you get your skinny venti no foam vanilla latte with an extra shot here doesn’t mean that the rest of those pretentious hipsters want to see you suckle on your vape pen. Not even it smells like cotton candy and you try telling anyone who’ll listen that it’s better for you. That nice barista will have no problem kicking your ass out.

3.) Your Teacher’s Office Hours:

If you pull this off, it would be cool as hell, but you might wonder why your participation grade is so low all of the sudden. Don’t be fooled if you have a movie on 4/20 for your history class and your teacher that has a bad case of the munchies; your teacher does not want to discuss what strain of devil’s lettuce you prefer.

2.) The Rec Climbing Wall:

Just because the climbing wall is the closest you’ll get to actually being outside (eek!), it does not constitute thinking you’re outside. It’s the climbing wall, not cannabis wall. Just ’cause the climbing wall is dope, doesn’t mean you need to bring yours. Plus, being high and clinging to fake rocks would be terrifying. 

1.) Pearl Street:

You think you’re sooooo clever by hiding in public but guess what: weed smells and so do you! Pearl Street is one of the most sought after tourist attractions in Boulder, and even though it’s 4/20, everyone disapproves of what you’re doing. Seriously, even contortionist dude knows what you’re doing. Be ready to go full Sandlot and make a run from the grass hounds! They’ll get ya!

So, blaze up, smoke your hash or hemp, light up your bong or pipe, roll a doobie or a joint, and don’t be a dumbass. If you manage to get off of your couch this 4/20, steer clear of these locations. Keep the keef under control and relax! It’s not like you’re a real stoner anyways. Apollo 16 landed on the moon on 4/20, if you really want to celebrate something out of this world.

Speaking of weed, what’s the better term: “weed” or “pot”? Our editors debate on our podcast!