Tour guides have been telling their groups for years that it is good luck to rub the Hugh Morris bust’s nose even though hundreds of kids have petitioned to have it amputated after relying solely on the magical bronze nostrils failed to help them pass their STAT200 finals. This semester, as you gear up to take your first exams of the semester, consider rubbing something else in the library for good luck.
5.) The stapler by the printer:
If you haven’t noticed, someone takes the time every so often to write a fictional story about the wonderful adventures of the Printing Station Stapler. Someone takes the time out of their sad lives in the library to write a pathetic short story about something as insignificant as a stapler. Someone loves this stapler very much. Hopefully if you rub this stapler, some of that love and good vibes will be passed on to you and help you ace your test.
4.) All the books in the “ASS” section:
Just for fun, trek up the three flights of stairs. Here is where all the books that fall in the first half of the Dewey Decimal System go to die quiet, unread deaths. However you can definitely liven up the third floor by creeping over to the ASS section and then rubbing up and down every single book. Think about how many fun three letter words you can do this to.
3.) The kid that sits at the multimedia help desk:
You know the one, all too eager grin. He definitely wants you to talk to him. Imagine how overjoyed he will be when you go up and just rub the side of his face. Just one rub and he will probably do your math homework and videotape that documentary for SOCI471 at the same time. Getting all that accomplished, with so little effort, we’d call that pretty lucky.
2.) The librarian’s bum:
Between the glasses, and the bad sweaters, and the middle aged-ness, Ms. Librarian is probably not getting much action these days. Sneak up on her and reach over the help desk to get a quick rub in. You’ll definitely make her happy and like, she lives in a library, so some of that knowledge is bound to rub off on you.
1.) The security guard’s nose:
Have you ever thought about that poor security guard? He just has to sit behind that desk and watch Hugh Morris’ nose get rubbed all day long. We bet no one has ever offered to rub the security guard’s nose. Do him a favor and pay the little security guard some attention, this good deed will surely bring some good luck your way.
Don’t let the nose fool you: there are plenty of other things in the library to help you do well on your exam. If you rub them hard enough, you are bound to get an A. Good Luck!