Is that even the name of the major? We’re not sure. We only heard about this program when some wild-eyed freshman grabbed one of our reporters on Main Street to ramble about “building community” or whatever. Though there’s still no word on what these people are actually the leaders of, we can only assume it’s something really fucking useful. Once we learned about this anomaly among the majors listed on UD’s website, we took to the streets of Newark to further investigate.
Local Newark fourth grader Cindy Finkle told The Black Sheep that she aspires to be just like her older sister, a Leadership major at UD, and also her older brother, a hall monitor at the local middle school. “They’re both really special at their school, and really good at macaroni art,” she said.
Finkle’s older sister was unavailable for comment, as she was busy leading a line of school children into the Crayola factory for a tour. While we couldn’t get a quote from her directly, we feel that this situation epitomizes the Leadership major enough to leave it at that.
Since Finkle couldn’t be reached, we headed over to the green to ask people what they think a leadership major is. Though the primary response was, “a what?,” we got the chance to hear from a few Leadership majors regarding their “coursework.”
Junior Sarah Strong says that her most difficult class thus far has been “Presentation Strategies,” where she claims to have finally learned how to avoid ugly word art in PowerPoint slides. “It’s been super hard trying to have every point on my slides not slowly fizzle onto the screen; those transitions are just so cute!” she explained.
Before we could move on to another victim, Strong whipped out her laptop to show us a presentation she made about the Leadership major. It was clear from the title slide that she hasn’t learned much in her class, as we watched the word “LEADERSHIP!” fly arbitrarily around the screen for five full seconds. The following slides weren’t much help either, as they only contained pictures of Strong dressed as George Washington. “He’s my hero!” she explained, “I love the way he stands on the boat in that picture, he’s such a great leader.”
Maybe it’s because it sounds like a made-up degree that desperate post-grads hopelessly tack onto their resumes, but Leadership gets a bad wrap. It’s easy to talk down to leadership majors, but these are the future chaperones of our children. So be careful, or future Sarah Strong will boot little Johnny from the zoo trip and you’ll be that parent.