With the big turkey day sneaking up on students faster than the Freshman 15, it’s time to start thinking about how you can convince all the people from your high school that you’re living your best life here at UD, whether you actually are or not. Although UD may be lacking in a few areas (cough cough athletics), all Blue Hens know there are a ton of great things about this place that make it one of the best universities in the region. Here are some key points to mention when you run into the bitch you hated in 2013 and she asks what exactly UD has to offer.
6.) Our alums:
Joe Flacco was, at one point in time, elite as fuck—remember? And don’t even get us started on Joe Biden unless you have 4 hours of your life to spare. Our most-prized alum was the second-hand-man to the leader of the free world while all Towson has to offer is Amy Schumer, and she’s not even that funny.
5.) Our super hardo Main Street bouncers:
The Main St. bouncers take their jobs super seriously, so you never have to worry about getting underages at the bars. You also don’t have to worry about making moves on a guy all night at Deer Park just to get back to his house and find out he’s actually 14 and goes to the high school down the street.
4.) Our Rainy Tuesdays:
It rains every single Tuesday, so we can plan our class skips accordingly. How many times have you gotten all dressed up for class just to have it quite literally rain on your parade?? Lucky for us, our weather is so predictable that we know Tuesdays mean sweats and messy buns.
3.) Our ability to go on a 5-week bender in London and still get class credit:
UD was the first school to do study abroad, so there’s plenty of chances to get the fuck out of this country. Our advisors are so good at making sure whatever you do over there counts as credit, they’ll have that cooking class you took in Italy count as a lab.
2.) Our Planned Parenthood on Haines:
There’s a Planned Parenthood right on campus. Yep, you read that right, you can get an STD check in between classes. What can you do in between classes? See a movie? That’ll sure clear up your chlamydia.
1.) Our Dages:
Not “darties,” dages. Blue Hens are the only species that wakes before the sun rises just to take years off their lives by ingesting copious amounts of alcohol before noon. No, it’s not because of a football game or a holiday. It occurs every Saturday, simply because it’s Saturday.
So go ahead and use some of these things to hype up UD to your lame high school friends this Thanksgiving break, and show them you’re living the gUD life.