Returning to UD for fall semester after a dull and education-less summer is exciting and fun. One thing can be a little confusing, especially for students making the move out of the dorms and into their first place, and that’s whether a mysterious home is inhabited by fellow students or regular people. You may be wondering whether the neighbors in the mysterious house next door are cool college students like yourself, or whether they are just average Americans who made the confusing choice to live permanently in a college town. Fortunately there are a few signs that can help you figure things out. Here are a few that are sure to help with a little bit of observation!
Upholstered Furniture Outside:
If furniture that is clearly meant to be inside is found outside on a porch or roof, then that dwelling is surely inhabited by a college student. College students don’t care about things enough to keep them in good shape, whether it be furniture, relationships, or their bodies. Regular people, on the other hand, keep soft fabrics inside, and are normally not intoxicated enough to sit on a cushion covered by mold and spider communities.
Cats are tricky, but if you pay close enough attention, then you can probably figure a little bit about the people whose front lawn they are lurking on. If an overweight cat sits grumpily at the front door, staring conceitedly at the students who pass by while digesting a meal of raw hot dog and spilled beer, then the owner of this crabby tabby is likely a college student. However, if the front lawn of a home is littered with two or more skinny cats, roaming without goals and with a dazed demeanor, then it is likely that the home is owned by a regular person who is also a hoarder.
Hammock on the Porch:
If a hammock is loosely strung between two precariously erect porch beams, likely with a Rastafarian color scheme, then the house is owned by college students. Relaxing on the front porch in a hammock for all to see while much more sensible and modest seating accommodations sit empty is just not something that regular people do. Regular people are generally not able to binge drink on Wednesday afternoons with their friends, and do not have time to nurse this untimely inebriation in a cozy hammock. College students do though, which is a nice part about being in college.
A home adorned with well-trimmed bushes and bursts of colorful petunias is not owned by a college student. Regular people are interested in making their homes look nice, despite being placed in a town where the sidewalks are regularly discolored by vomit baked for hours under a hot sun. Plants can help with this goal when cared for appropriately. Alternatively, a home barely visible behind indecisive bushes and a confusing infestation of bamboo is not owned by a regular person. College students do not care about landscaping, and do not have the money to spend on azaleas.
These tips should be helpful in navigating UD’s exciting and diverse neighborhood, and in deciding whether there will be consequences to putting speakers on the roof or using drugs recreationally in the backyard. Keep them in mind when you’re learning and when you’re having fun!
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