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Places on UD’s Campus to Flip the Bird Before You Graduate

 

I Love UD Day may have been yesterday, but as the great Hannah Montana once said, “nobody’s perfect.” There are plenty of little things about UD’s campus that, over the course of your four years here, have probably gotten on your nerves. While it’s important to see and do as many of the things on your personal UD Bucket List as possible before you graduate, ensure that you cover all the bases and give those annoyances the bird before you leave – and we don’t mean YouDee, either.

 

5.) That passageway behind Drake Hall:

 

 

Anyone who’s ever taken a chemistry lab at UD can probably testify to that woozy “where am I?” feeling they get when, after a grueling, murderous three hour-long lab, they finally are released from the wretched lair that is Drake Hall.

 

4.) The Smith-Gore bus station:

 

 

The UD Shuttle system tends to be the butt of all the jokes around here, especially in regards to how it’s never on time or is never running when you most need it. If you’re expecting us to offer a counterpoint highlighting a redeeming quality about the Shittle (not a typo), we actually didn’t have anything to say. While standing by the busiest hub served by the Shuttle system and making eye contact with one of its drivers, throw that middle finger up in the air like you just don’t care, even though you clearly care enough to flip off a bus station.

 

3.) That weird plaza thing behind Wolf Hall:

 

 

We’re not sure how other people feel about this location, or whether people have any strong feelings towards it at all, but god damn it does this deserted plaza-looking place grind our gears. It’s just a whole swath of brick and nothing else. What’s the point?

 

2.) Any sort of construction begun in your senior year that improves a previously poorly designed part of campus:

 

 

Maybe it’s just us, but in our last year or two as students here, we’ve noticed that UD as a whole has added a bunch of new features that would have seriously come in handy earlier in our college career, whether it be a new walking path or a not-shitty brand new dining hall. We were forced to walk upon inconveniently designed paths and eat at Rodney and Russell Dining Halls. These freshman kids don’t know how good they have it, and you’re bitter enough to flip some orange construction fencing the bird.

 

1.) Student Health:

 

 

Remember that time sophomore year where you came down with some mystery virus, trekked all the way from your suite on North Campus to the South Green with snot running down your nose at the same rate that tears flowed down your cheeks? And when you finally got to Laurel Hall, you waited for close to an hour only to be told by a nurse practitioner that, essentially, you ain’t shit? Yeah, we remember that too. Give the Student Health building the finger one last time before you leave in remembrance of all of the wasted time you’ve spent there.

 

While it can be cathartic to tell your ex or that person you’ve always hated to go screw themselves, it can be even more cathartic to tell an inanimate object or location that can’t respond to go screw itself. If you’re feeling extra feisty, bring Baby Blue into the mix by using two hands to flip off no one in particular.

 

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