One of the most exciting things about Trabant is the war that ensues among students searching for seats. While some may find the competition for tables exhilarating, others are comforted by the idea of guaranteed seating. Here are some alternative places to sit when you just can’t seem to find a place to rest your buns anywhere in Trabant.
10.) On The Roof Of Trabant:
Sometimes the cut-throat competition of getting a seat inside can be tiring, but you know where no one ever thinks to go? The roof. See if you can get YouDee to join you and maybe you can get some free flying lessons while you’re up there.
9.) Outside Kirkbride Since Kirkbride Jesus Has Chosen To Relocate Where He Harasses Students:
Try to fill KBJ’s shoes by sitting outside Kirkbride and harassing some students yourself, maybe even throw some overpriced Burger Studio fries at them if you’re feeling extra frisky. You’ll probably never get a job with your Art History degree anyway, so kick start this career instead!
8.) In Dickinson Hall:
They keep the lights on 24/7, effectively turning Dickinson into a great place to feast with blinding fluorescent lighting, just like good ol’ Trabs.
7.) Under One of the Tables in Trabant:
What about all that empty space that isn’t being used underneath the table? Next time you find yourself wandering around, find a nice four top and cozy up underneath it. You can still be a part of the conversation with the people sitting around the table, and it’ll be a great way to make new friends.
6.) President Ass-Anus’ House:
Word on the street is that President Ass-Anus is renovating his entire house. Go enjoy your meal and check out his nice, new, and certainly unnecessary floors that your tuition is paying for.
5.) In the Cemetery next to Bayard Sharp Hall:
The cemetery is especially a good choice for those who find it easier to relate to people who are decaying and not screaming with their sorority sisters loud enough for you to hear them five tables away. Here, you can sit by the headstones and enjoy the peace and quiet of not 200 Kappa Kappa Ding Dongs all trying to sit in a booth together.
4.) In the Trabant Sushi Display:
The lighting will give you a great opportunity to take a nice selfie. Stick around for a while and see how much the sushi chef prices you for, because knowing your self-worth is important.
3.) The Train Tracks:
Maybe you’re an adrenalin junkie who loves to take risks. Maybe you’re a female who loves to get catcalled by the townies at Deer Park. Maybe you have a different reason for wanting to sit on train tracks. No matter what the case, one things for sure, it’ll be the lunch of a lifetime.
2.) In One of The Garbage Cans in Trabant:
For the days where you feel like actual trash.
1.) Under the Kissing Arches:
As a reminder to yourself that no one is meeting you there to kiss you. But hey, at least you still have your overpriced and poorly made sushi.
When you feel like taking a break from fighting for a place to sit and enjoy your meal, try out these fun and exciting places instead to enjoy your favorite subpar food supplied by our very own Trabant University Center!