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How To Become DePaul’s #1 Vape King

From new piercings to terrible facial hair, every Blue Demon came back from break with something new after the holidays to flaunt. However, one stocking stuffer trumps all when it comes to DePaul students: The Christmas Vape™! And now that everyone’s got a Juul in tow, it’s important to establish vape dominance among your classmates. So, if you’re not sure how to flaunt your newest pen or Juul, fret not, we’ve got you covered!

5.) Take a puff during class:
While it’s custom for DePaul students to take hits of that sweet juice on The Smokers Stoop, the sub-freezing temperatures definitely put a damper on puffing up before your LSP blow-off class. All hope is not lost, though. Bring your vape into your class! Your peers will recognize how much of a badass you are and your professor will stop their lecture to commemorate your cloud tricks!

4.) Stock up on wacky flavors:
While cotton candy vapes are a timeless classic, it’s time to get real. 2018 is the year for leaving basic vape juices in the past. In order to attract the most attention, as well as street cred, it is imperative to switch up your flavors. Our recommendations? Hit up unfrosted strawberry Pop-Tart, mashed potato and the always delicious, tilapia juice.

3.) Hack it to play Christmas music:
While Christmas is “technically over” due to “it being January, meaning it is both a new month and a new year,” that doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your holiday spirit! Fun fact: in every model of the Juul, there’s a mechanism that allows you to play music! Simply throw the contraption on the ground as hard as you can, ideally breaking it in two. If that doesn’t work, try stepping on it for good measure. All you’ll have to do is tape your favorite Christmas album inside, and then tape it back together! Before you know it, you’ll be able to bump “Silent Night” all year long!

2.) Smoke a cig out of the pen:
As previously mentioned, 2018 is the year for vape innovation. While you could be like every other wannabe vape artist, inhaling vapor to help kick a nicotine habit, that would be far too easy. Instead of being a dreaded ~normie~, take it to the next level. Pick up a pack of your favorite cigs and tape one to the end of your favorite pen. Through infallible scientific testing, our data shows that the vapor will exit through the cig, breaking boundaries and solidifying your status as a Vape King. Win!

1.) Communicate via vape cloud:
With the oversaturated digital market in which we live, it can become very tiresome to make real connections with people via the countless gizmos shoved in our faces. If you’re looking to communicate more effectively and show off your newly-acquired vape skills, we have a solution for you. Rather than sending a pesky text message or a pedantic Snapchat, converse with your peers via vape cloud! Your romantic interests will blush upon receiving a midnight cloud at their window, and your parents will be floored by how quickly you respond to your messages.

When looking for the best method of showing off your new vape, just remember to keep it simple. Sure, you could just show it off to your peers, maybe even offer to share it, but that is way too big of a commitment and could result in catastrophe. These methods will ensure that everyone will think you’re super fucking dope, as well as help you ascend from Vape King to Vape Master in all its glory.

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