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7 Things Everyone Fools Themselves Into Believing About DePaul

Even though April Fool’s is generally a social holiday, it can just as easily double as an important holiday for personal reflection. We are still students at DePaul, and sometimes we need to take our minds off that fact. Here are 7 things to trick yourself into believing about DePaul this April Fools day.

7.) A scenic design degree will definitely matter in 10 years:
You came into college undeclared, eventually hoping to find your niche among the plethora of opportunities available to theater students. The scene painting classes and lighting design lessons are really going to pay off in the end, and sooner or later you’ll have your money working for you.

6.) The DePaul Campus Administration cares deeply about your specific academic needs:
The deep seated sense of love and responsibility that DePaul faculty members have for all of their students is unparalleled. Every professor understands that each individual student is unique and special. They also love brand new basketball courts. Music students will begin receiving special treatment come spring 2018.

5.) Your junior year experiential learning class will prepare you for the real world:
Yes, that PAX 200 class you enrolled in is super important and you should be thanking DePaul for giving you the gift of learning the skills necessary to uphold a Vincentian lifestyle. Oh, you’re taking an internship class? Unpaid labor is cool too.

4.) The food at the Student Center IS NOT slowly eating away at the lining of your stomach:
Ranch’s cheese sticks are incredible; they taste even better with the frozen month-old marinara sauce they serve in a melting plastic cup. ETC has a wonderful selection of affordable items available for purchase as well. Just try and ignore the fact that your arteries are clogging faster than a SAC toilet while you’re doing the walk of shame out of ETC with a bag of Doritos in one hand and a package of Oreos in the other.

3.) The city is indeed your campus:
Tell your friends back home that you go to DePaul, and you’re not only a student of the school but of the city as well. You walk its streets, you breathe its air and you feel its heartbeat beneath your feet. At least, the areas off the Fullerton and Jackson Red Line stop.

2.) There will not be a line at Brownstone’s, 5 minutes before class starts:
You barely managed to roll your hungover self out of bed this morning 10 minutes before your 9:40 a.m. business ethics class. A warm cup of battery acid — sorry, “coffee” — and a clear plastic cup of assorted vegetables and you’ll be good to go! Of course, this all depends on whether or not there’s a line of basic freshman bitches fresh out of their 8 a.m. classes. Do you risk it?

1.) You will turn in all of your discussion posts on time this quarter:
Providing meaningful and content heavy material on your class’s discussion post is incredibly important to you, and you’re convinced that this quarter you will turn every post in right on time. Which you better check up on, because one is bound to be due in the next 5 to 10 minutes.

April Fool’s comes but once a year, so let loose and be foolish for a day! It’s a tough world out there for DePaul students right now so let’s collectively take a light-hearted day of personal self-reflection and good-hearted tomfoolery. Let your mind wander for a little while and forget about the small things. Fool yourself for a moment and maybe (hopefully) that will carry over to April 2nd.


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