Connect with us
Connect with us

DePaul

5 Really Really Good Reasons to Date DePaul Frat Boys

Cursed with having a bad reputation, frat boys at depaul truly are oppressed. It’s tough living up to these unrealistic expectations that society sets up for them. That’s why it is important to remember  that despite the rumors, they’re only human (most likely) and you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, or its Sperry boat shoes. Here are five reasons why you might reconsider and give that frat boy a chance.

5.) They’re really dope:
Pretty on the outside, full of dope on the inside. How could you pass that up? Everyone wants a man they can bring home to the ‘rents during the day and explore the deep complexity of human psyche as it goes into hour 8 of CoD under the influence of some green at night. What a high! That’s the type of rush you can expect when you’re with a fraternity brother.

4.) Money Money Money Money:
Since 99.69 percent of the frat boy population are gleaming byproducts of upper-class white suburbia, money will never be a worry. Most of these men have a special card that they impressively swipe to close the bar tab for you and all of your friends. It’s actually a real mystery where the drinks were charged. But then again, frat boys are used to swiping away their problems with no accountability. Mommy and daddy will handle it. As long as it’s not you, that’s all that matters.

3.) Exclusivity:
Everyone knows that members of fraternities throw the classiest, most outrageously exciting parties! But the catch is, they are extremely exclusive! It’s really not their fault, these are exceptionally prominent members of society and hold close to the same stature as Jesus Christ himself. So don’t question their motives, just praise their greatness, and give them a chance. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to call one yours, and get your name on the holy list to attend the frattiest party of the year: Jeremy’s party at his garden apartment Lakeview – he got a fog machine!

2.) Charity:
Although some might say you’re doing the true charity work by actually giving a frat boy a chance, the dudes hold themselves to a surprisingly higher moral standard than one may think. Most members of fraternities are required to complete a certain amount of community service hours to remain in their cult fraternity. That’s right. if you thought the depth of a frat man only goes as far as beer kegs, you are mistaken. They actually have people forcing them to be good people, and contribute to needy society. And it’s actually proven that forcefully volunteering at an organization you know nothing about one day a year makes you a good person.

1.) Simplicity:
Not everyone desires rich, intellectually stimulating conversations. Sometimes there is something simply beautiful about simplicity. Since frat boys operate on a much simpler plane of existence, this is just one of many reasons why you should give them a chance. It may be difficult to process that the complexity of one’s mind does not reach beyond sex and beer, but this phenomenon does exist, and it can be fantastic. Who wants to discuss real issues when you can just have a conversation consisting of “sup” and “cool”? You’ll never have to guess what Brent from Phi Kappa Sugar is thinking, because it’s simply unimportant… in the best of ways of course!

So stop being so critical of fraternity men and give them a chance. They take enough abuse. Deep down, they’re just mushy, delicate Republicans. Poor guys!

Listen and SUBSCRIBE to our podcast!

Continue Reading

More from DePaul

Advertisement
Advertisement
To Top