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What Your Back to School Outfit Says About Your Social Life at DePaul

We’re back to that time of the year again: bleeding pockets, stressful all-nighters, mental breakdowns, deep internal disappointment, and creating a new self-image. No, we’re not talking about your last relationship; we’re talking about starting fall quarter at the one-and-only, DePaul University. If you’re a returning student, you understand the struggle. If you’re an optimistic freshman, or just a positive person in general… you’ll soon learn your grim reality quickly! Not everything about starting school has to be bad, though. One of the best parts of starting a fresh year of school is getting to judge the new people, and one of the best ways to judge a person is by their physical appearance, so we’re here to tell you what your back to school outfit says about you!

The Alt-Grunge Come Back

These little trendsetters have made the ‘90s and Daddy Issues™ a pretty fashionable trend at DePaul. Catch them sporting a fresh choker and some color of hair that screams, “I’m different, and totally not trying to be!!!!!!!!” Their usual apparel reveals not only their body, but also their mind, personality, and most importantly, their insecurities from having a father with high standards for them growing up.

The Greek Life Getup

What even is college without frat-boy fashion?  You can spot a fratstar from a mile away. The Greek Life Getup usually consists of chino shorts in any given pastel color, a Vineyard Vines button-up and/or vest, a pair of boat shoes, and a backwards baseball cap (or generally any type of clothing that screams “douche bag” or “future white republican dad”). These guys throw the greatest parties, disappoint the best of humanity, and always prefer Coke over Pepsi (and we’re not talking about the soda).

The Goody Goody Gum Drop:

 

These are the kids who actually dress up for the first day of school. The people who actually try. These are the people who actually appear to have their shit together. We’re talkin’ classy dresses, clean slacks, neat hair, and not a single bag under their eyes. This is the student who probably filled out a planner and has actually read the syllabus. They maintain their responsibilities and, more than likely, their virginities. They will probably be your future boss, but for now, they’re just annoying try-hards and we will continue to make fun of them to mask our own academic insecurities.

The Artsy, Smartsy, Fartsy

Flashy shoes, trendy haircuts, and pants that rid a person’s body of all existing sex appeal. Some may call them hipsters, but that label is deeply offensive to their originality. From their unique style, you can expect to find them at every political protest or smoking a cig (American Spirits ONLY) after class while deep in thought about their groundbreaking realizations about this unjust world. If you can’t interpret the subliminal message of their back-to-school outfit, chances are you’re just a daft fool consumed by this capitalistic society incapable of reaching the level of the Artsy…Smartsy…Fartsy.

These are just a few back to school outfits that you may have seen this week on campus. While many of you may fall into one of these categories, don’t take this too much to heart. St. Vinny would just want you to wear what makes you feel good!  

Need something to do while picking out your outfit? Try out our podcast!

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