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For the Love of God, Please Stop Updating Digication

We can safely say that we’ve given Digication enough chances. Yet, students’ email accounts are still bombarded with notifications about updates. Enough is enough. It’s time that we cut this off, so this is our break up letter to Digication (because ghosting is fucking rude):

Digication, we’re officially breaking up with you. It bothers us that we even have to say it considering we haven’t thought about you since WRD 104. Then you sent us an email saying that you have changed? What makes you think that would be enough? Dealing with you is emotionally exhausting and frustrating. Nobody sees you unless we are required to. There is no need to update so damn much! Just calm down.

Not to mention all that is being changed is appearance adjustments. In your letter, you said your editing buttons would “float to the right side of the module.” Do you really think this is enough for us? You might look different, but don’t think you can fool us, you have the same personality with the same exact problems. The only time you’re even brought up is when we hear someone else talking about you, then we chime into the conversation for the shit talking.

You are not worthy of our attention anymore. We do not need an email saying “To stay updated on the latest Digication features, please subscribe to receive an email when future updates are posted.” There are so many things wrong with this.

First, never refer to yourself in the third person, it’s creepy. Second, do not plug your social media! We are not interested in what you are doing. Live your own life. Don’t do things just because you think we’re watching, it shows how needy for attention you are and frankly looks desperate. Stop being so obsessed with us!

We get that you are trying to be impressive by showing how much you’ve changed, but it’s too late. We are not in WRD anymore and do not need your drama. We have moved on, and not in the way where we still want to know what’s new in your life, over you in the way where you cross our minds once a year, maybe less. Your email was a weak attempt at getting back into our lives when we are enjoying being away from you. And if we really wanted to, we would try Squarespace, at least they have a good reputation with YouTubers and podcasters. Besides, nobody understands you anyway!

Digication, your biggest fault is that you are too hard to keep up with because of how quickly you change. For each WRD class, we have tried to learn everything about you that we can, but then you go and change again! The most recent time you were so complicated we had to ask a librarian for help and she didn’t even know you had “updated”.

At this point, it would be easier if you just stayed the same so at least people knew what they were getting into and they could ask for help from their peers who have dealt with you before. This is your final warning: LEAVE US ALONE AND STOP CONTACTING US.

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