Middle Class Stockpiling Herbal Remedies Following Obamacare Repeal

author-pic at DePaul University  

Recently, doctor-happy individuals whose health insurance plans allowed them to afford frequent visits to physicians for every little tummy ache could walk into any hospital, pay a $20 copay and receive top-notch treatment. Now sick low-income Americans will have to pay outrageous rates to be seen by a doctor when the new Republican-backed American Healthcare Act takes shape, prompting many, like Lily Adamson, to resort to ancient medicinal healing methods.

Lily, an eight-year-old girl from Flint, Michigan, was insured under her parents’ plan during the Obama years, but could lose her insurance once the new American Healthcare Act is put in place. Her and her family have begun to use a variety of twigs and berries to assist with their health.

 

 “Me and mommy were at a flea market last week when some fat man with grey hair started talking to us. He told me had magical powers!” Lily explained. “I told him my tummy really hurt from all the lead I’ve been drinking but mommy couldn’t afford to take me to the doctor. Then, he gave me a dusty, old book. The book said I could fix my upset stomach by eating a mixture of chamomile, ginger, and peppermint. Now I can drink all the lead I want and I don’t even have to see a doctor again!”

Although the Adamson family would no longer be able to afford a doctor’s visit, they still insist that the Republican Obamacare repeal is the best thing that has ever happened to them because it provided a sense of agency over their own bodies. The “fat man’s” teachings have made the family independent.

“Living in Flint had made us dependent on health services. We forgot how to take care of ourselves,” said Michelle Adamson, Lily’s mother. “Now, whenever Lily receives a compound fracture in her leg, I know better than to waste money on an ambulance and a world-class doctor. Just rub some dirt in that open wound, splint her up, and send her back outside to play. Works like a charm.”

The medical community is urging Americans to seek medical assistance in the event of an emergency, but ancient healing methods are trending upwards at an exponential rate. Many Americans would rather resort to using their appendixes than pay thousands of dollars to receive a Tylenol prescription.

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