Located right before approaching the corner of Racine and Kenmore near the Student Center, sits a random statue of a majestic naked woman. If you go to DePaul, you’re familiar with this mysterious piece of paraphernalia, and have more than likely thought, “what the actual fuck?”
The real question is, what is this statue? Who does it represent? How did it get here? Who owns it?
Theory — She’s a representation of DePaul’s lowkey liberal values:
We know DePaul is a Catholic university, infamous for encompassing everything not Catholic, so maybe a statue of a naked woman sprung out for everyone to see really isn’t that crazy. Since the statue seemingly resides in someone’s yard, awkwardly open for anyone walking down Racine to see, maybe it’s DePaul’s discrete way of sending a message. Without having to remain liable for the decoding, if Catholicism and Disney have taught us anything, it’s how to detect subliminal messages and this is DePaul’s. She’s there to resemble temptation in spite of her Vincentian values. The naked woman represents us all.
Theory — She’s just here to piss of rich people, not unlike another Chicago neighborhood staple:
Her presence must quite controversial in a wealthy family area, next to a Catholic university, prime locations for whiny people to get offended. We’re sure the DePaul Republicans don’t approve, but hey, the priests on campus have to have something to draw their eye that is still partially acceptable. It’s “art!”
Theory — It goes much, much deeper:
But maybe she has nothing to do with DePaul. She could resemble a real person with an interesting story. Perhaps a woman from a long time ago, who was sick of dealing with fuckboys and decided to break free and bask in her glory like the i n d e p e n d e n t queen she is. Perhaps St. Vinny himself is buried within the naked woman! Could the body of St. Vinny actually be encased within this woman? Or even worse… the naked woman may be preserving him. Which means, he really is always watching…
The truth is, we’ll never truly know the full story behind the naked lady in the lawn. She could be a magical sorceress, a tomb for the body of St. Vincent, or just an object for frat bros to piss on, but at least you’ll always have something interesting to look at on your morning walk to campus.
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