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New Loop Campus Gaming Center Primed to be Hot Make Out Spot

The Loop Campus recently unveiled its new gaming center, and it’s not just going to be popular with CDM students. Fuck no! When DePaul invests, it invests for ALL students. Since the school of the Blue Demons is such an inclusive institution, it wants couples to feel welcome to make out in the newest addition to the techiest building downtown.

When asked if she was going to go to the makeout room with her girlfriend, Mia, a junior at DePaul’s business school said “ABSOLUTELY. I was super into video games in high school, but I was never included because I’m a girl, so making out with my girlfriend in a place where I know those assholes from high school would think is sacred? I view it as a huge ‘fuck you’ to them. Plus that’s kinda hot.”

With our first interviewee sounding so ecstatic, we were intrigued when we talked to Chris, who, surprisingly, is a game design major. He was not a fan of the new gaming center all for the same reasons everyone else likes it: “I get that they are trying to put money into shit that is helpful, but literally everyone I know just plans on making out in it, and I’m not into that at all. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FOCUS ON D&D WHEN ALL I HEAR IS THE GROSS MOUTH NOISES OF STRANGERS?! I WILL NOT HAVE IT. NO.”

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When asked how he will prevent people with no gaming intent to enter the new room, he sighed and responded “This quarter is so busy, to begin with. Why is it always up to me to stop PDA? I don’t know. I guess I’ll just put a sign up that says ‘This is a kissing free zone.’ It seems to work for peanuts and guns.”

“I couldn’t give a shit what the students do in there unless they are sharing edibles or watching Spy,” said one CDM faculty member said. “If that happens, I demand an invitation.”

From what we could gather, most DePaul students are excited to try out the kissing aren-er gaming center. No matter how you use the new addition, it will be a helpful way to explore different areas *wink wink*. The CDM building has so many of these microscopic closet rooms to embrace technology. Even if you feel the same way Chris does, you’ll be able to barge in on another couple gettin’ it on in different space. We shall be adding this to the map of kissing spots in the Loop Campus and distributing it to future freshmen.

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