Eliza Diaz, sophomore member of Zeta Eta Pi sorority, became distressed after noticing she wasn’t getting at least four likes per second on her latest Instagram post.
Diaz explained that in order to maintain the thousands of followers that have rewarded her with Likes and self-esteem boosting comments, she must keep an eye on low Likes per minute ratios that deem certain photos a “failure.”
“I tried to post an artsy picture of the cappuccino so I could try and expand my following, but,” Diaz clarified, almost in tears. “It was definitely the lighting. I called the café and complained that the light is too dim to take cute pictures. They have yet to get back to me.”
Most of the pictures on Diaz’s profile show off her beautifully made-up face and tan skin. The occasional sunset picture is thrown into the mix, but those fall short compared to the selfies of Diaz and her equally as attractive sorority sisters in an array of poses.
Diaz emphasized the hard work that is put into concocting the perfect Instagram post and how disappointing it is when the likes just don’t rack up.
“Do you know how stressful it is to find a filter that brings out the natural light without reducing the quality of the coffee?” Diaz asked, on edge. “I paid $10.50 for that cappuccino and it was all for nothing!”
Diaz has vowed to only post selfies for the next month and a half to regain her reputation as part of the Instagram elite.
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