Twelve Doritos enter the ring, only one will survive. Which Dorito has the might to claim the title of Best Dorito in the Universe?

In the spirit of thanking and giving and whatnot, we'd like to thank whoever invented malt liquor for giving us a reason to live. Man, that sounds a lot more pathetic when you actually type it out.

Because funny, weird people celebrate Valentine's Day too, we've made up some cards so you can express your love on this holiday too.

It's almost 7/11, 7-11's annual free Slurpee day, so we tried, tested, mixed and ranked all the flavors we could get our hands on.

Guidos are the old Guidos, but are Indians the new Guidos? They have spiky hair, drive older model luxury cars, wear bright, open shirts and enjoy loud dance music. That's all we need to hear.

Existing in generalities isn't awesome, but with the MSU dorms it's true. Freaks in one, hotties in the other. It's strange, and awesome, really.

So, you've met someone new and you've exchanged numbers, but you're too scared to call? Well, there's always the less-direct text message. Beware, though, there's a certain etiquette one must follow, otherwise you'll just look silly and sexless.

DUI laws changed in Illinois over the summer, so our lawyer buddy, Tim, decided to stop by and let us know what to do.

We're not even going to try to preface this with a clever intro. Instead,know we made one of our male writers get a bikini wax, just to see what it was like.

You'd think having a dream entourage would be easy, but it's a tough list to get together. The first step though: No Adrian Grenier or Jeremy Piven.