Bars can be nice places to hang out, listen to some music, and embarrass yourself in front of new people. That’s what’s cool about Tally, there are so many different personalities. The best places to find these interesting people are at bars. These are the types of people we guarantee you will run into if you go out in Tallahassee.
6.) The Brad and Chad Duo:
Eric and Donald Trump Jr. over here will fuck literally anything that walks. In fact that’s exactly why they’re at the bar! You’ll find them smoking a JUUL and saying “bro” every five seconds. They’re scoping out their next tag team.
4.) The Ditzy Drunk:
Okay, you know that girl who just popped up in your head as you read this? This is about her. Yeah, the girl with annoying high-pitched voice who says everything that comes to mind and thinks everything is funny. She’s super sweet, but she’s definitely going to lose her phone and credit card so just look for her post on the FSU Facebook page tomorrow.
3.) The Depressed Guy Who Just Recently Got Dumped by His Girlfriend Six Months Ago:
This guy is heartbroken and his friends decided to take him out to get laid so that he can get over that girl who broke his heart. If you run into this guy, just give him a hug and move on. He really shouldn’t be there in the first place. Alcohol is not going to solve his problem, eating Ben and Jerry’s and watching the Office will do that.
2.) The Yeller:
This guy isn’t even drunk, he’s just unnecessarily loud, and honestly, Pots needs to stop giving him a band at happy hour. He doesn’t yell because the music’s loud, he yells because he wants to hear himself talk. He just wants attention because he has insecurities and yelling is his way of feeling “dominant” so that he can compensate for something else…
1.) The Homie Hopper:
You might feel special dancing with her at first, then 2 a.m. comes around and you realize she’s bumped uglies with every single one of your friends. She’s not trying to break your heart or anything but you “felt a connection” with her and you thought maybe she was the one just because you danced to maybe one song. You feel betrayed and now you’re standing in the corner next to the Depressed Guy Who Just Recently Got Dumped by His Girlfriend Six Months Ago.
Tallahassee is a beautiful city that has so many great things about it. For example… anyway. If you don’t know at least one of these people, then it’s because you’re one of them. But don’t feel bad if you are, its always better to be a tragic alcoholic than a Gator.