Are you still looking to spice things up? Is the bedroom not cutting it anymore? And at such a young age? Damn. It’s time to get your sex life back together by doing it in one or all of our top 7 spots on campus.
7.) On Top Of The Brand New Honors Printer:
Getting caught baking the potato in this hip, new hang out not only shows that you’re up-to-date on campus happenings, but also that you’re not afraid to get a little studious. Just make sure to bring your own paper or Jeffrey Badger will be livid.
6.) At A Totally Secret Burning Spear Meeting:
There’s no better way to turn your partner on than by taking control. And by this we mean specifically taking control of organizations like SGA, SAA, and IFC.
5.) The Florida State University Heritage Museum:
The elegant reading room is open to the public Monday-Thursday from 11-4, which means that as long as you come within those times, you’ll have the place all to yourselves.
4.) A Booth At Chili’s:
Show your partner that you respect them by doddling in the classiest restaurant on campus. Make your sesh even wilder by drizzling some White Spinach Queso on your partner (with their consent, of course).
3.) Doak Campbell Stadium:
Nothing says intimacy like Jimbo Fisher beaming down at you while you shake the sheets. If you’re lucky Roberto Aguayo, otherwise known as the Fairy of Fertility, will speed by on his scooter and bless you and your partner.
2.) On Top Of The Bridge Lounge Piano:
The Bridge Lounge is a great place to have sex on campus because there’s no limit to how loud you can be, as that one annoying kid Tyler proved when he spent your entire study break whining on the phone to his mom about his Gen Psych grade.
1.) Under A Canoe At The Rez:
The key word here is under. Showcase your in-depth knowledge of physics and the properties of mass by balancing the canoe just right to form an air pocket between the canoe and the water. Then lay your partner gingerly on the water’s surface. After confirming your partner’s consent, sex them on the water’s surface. Keep in mind that this will only work if your partner is less dense than the Lake Bradford water, and if your partner consents.
WATCH: We made Malort cupcakes. They are bad.