Few things go together as well as an egg salad sandwich and crippling depression. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of the most depressing locations on or near FSU campus for you to consume this mayonnaise based snack.
7.) Your Ex’s House:
You haven’t spoken in person in 3 months and you just read their passive aggressive status that says “finally moving on”. Eating an egg salad sandwich staked outside their house would be the perfect sad spot to eat your sad lunch.
6.) The Cemetery:
Just you, a hillside full of dead people and a fat slab of egg salad. The smell of your sandwich should keep away any evil spirits while you’re there, but it won’t distract you from your troubling sorrows.
5.) Behind the Strip:
You’ve definitely puked back here before. Seeing it all during the daytime changes your perspective on how you’ve spent your Friday nights. Maybe a weekend night in wouldn’t be so bad once a semester.
4.) A Construction Site:
Another luxury apartment complex is being built. Here are a few of the douchey names it might be called to fit in around Tally: Alure, Orion, Grotto, Exedra, or Eve. Eating a measly egg salad sandwich at one of these places will guarantee that you continue to feel poor and pathetic.
3.) Bus Stop After Just Missing the Bus:
The bus driver waited just until you caught up to speed away, leaving you all alone with your thoughts. This is a perfect time to bust out your eggy friend.
2.) On Top of a Parking Garage:
It took you 45 minutes to find a spot, but you finally did it. Now, treat yourself with a snack that’ll ruin your breath and suggest that rock bottom might last forever for you.
1.) A Dorm Laundry Room:
Someone pissed in the drier and the same socks have been on the floor for the past 4 months. It’s a physical manifestation of sadness, and you’re sitting in the middle of it.
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