Nothing is more fun and cool than placing your peers into made up tiers. Thats why the staff at The Black Sheep have put together a list of some of FSU’s male brothels ranked by how cool of a thing their name sounds like, kinda.
7.) Phi Kappa Tau: Towel:
Tau is the first syllable in towel and that is cool because everyone uses towels after they shower and after they go in pools or oceans. Towels absorb liquids really well. If you spill a drink, like a soda pops or a Coconut La Croix, you can put a towel on it and it will soak all of the juice up off of your nice tile floor, unless you have a carpet, in which case a towel is not needed because the carpet will slurp it all up. Towels are alright.
6.) Alpha Tau Omega: Nature Made Omega-3 Fish Oil:
Omega-3 is a fatty acid from the tissues of very oily fish. All of us at The Black Sheep are required to take a Fish Oil capsule each morning; they help with many things. Don’t bite down on them. Healthy oily capsules are not that exciting and thus must be placed fifth.
5.) Theta Chi: Chicken:
C, h, and i are the first three letters of chicken. Chicken is delicious, nutritious, and just an all-around good time. Chickens are very hard to catch because they run really fast. They run really fast and are agile because of evolution. They can’t fly very well so they need to be nimble to flee from coyotes and dogs.
4.) Phi Sigma Kappa: Capri Sun:
Kappa-ri Sun. Capri Suns are a delicacy and are a staple in places where children are going to frequent. If you have a child and a refrigerator, go buy some Capri Suns and place them in the fridge. Tell your child how to find them and show it how to stab the straw into the hole without breaking the straw. Capri Suns will teach your hyperactive son some much needed goddamn hand-eye coordination. Capri Suns are very cool and take third place on our list.
3.) Pi Kappa Alpha (Pike): Pikachu:
Pikachu is a very, very rad Pokemon. He is a yellow rabbit baby of few words (he can only say his name), and he’s 2-dimensional, which is a plus. Pikachu, for most, conjures fond memories of playing Pokemon as children. And Ash loves Pikachu.
2.) Pi Kappa Phi (Pi-Kapp): Pie Cap:
Pie Caps are a fun way to spice up any outfit.
1.) Kappa Alpha: Alfalfa:
Alfalfa is a type of plant, but more importantly, he is the best character in The Little Rascals. He has a single spike in his hair and that is really nice for him. He is a sharply dressed stud and a notorious woman hater (except when it comes to Darla of course). Alfalfa should be idolized and that is why he is number one on this list.
Determining this order was really difficult. If you feel your organization should be higher on the list, feel free to comment on this post, tweet, skype, or email us.
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