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Pledges Fight to the Death Among Coliseum’s Ruins

Rush week may be over for FSU’s fraternities, but the anxiety doesn’t stop there for new pledges. With the demolition of Tallahassee’s Coliseum comes new hazing horrors: Colosseum-style battles for the barely accepted brothers.

“The location is significant; it holds a lot of meaning for us because we’ve collectively been fucked up there so many times,” says Phelta Pie member Cody Brock about Coli. “It’s not fair that freshmen can’t experience it, so we’re fucking them up there in a different way.”

Phelta Pie is coercing their pledges into fist fighting atop the ruins of Coliseum until one of them gets knocked out. Though that isn’t one of the traditional fighting methods of the ancient Roman gladiators, it is certainly enough for the frat brothers to determine which pledges are the most masculine.

“We don’t have any lions or whatever to throw at them. We thought about using dogs but the ladies might get upset,” continued Brock. “Whoever gets beat up first is obviously not the strongest, so that dude won’t be my little.”

The upperclassmen members are using these battles to seek out which of the new pledges they want as their “littles”, or mentees, within the fraternity. The men take pride in these formulated families, and this fight will make decisions easier for some.

“The first thing I’m gonna do at Coli is look for pieces of broken shot glasses. Nightclubs always have those,” says pledge Brody Jock. “And maybe I can find some old sparklers and reignite them. I know all about the sparklers they used to have there.”

Similarly to a gladiator fight, the Coli ruins battles are to last as long as it takes for a pledge to violently defeat his oppon—.

“I can’t wait!” Jock added, unprovoked.

The fraternity plans to hold the battles for as long as they take at all costs, even if that means hindering local construction workers from building the planned Target supermarket.

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