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FSU Sophomore Didn’t Just Go to Okeechobee, She Experienced It

 

It’s music festival season yet again and FSU students are excited to spend $300 and not shower for five days. With the conclusion of Okeechobee, all the regular people on campus are still wondering why you would spend so much money to stay outside in the humid heat for four days being squished in a crowd of 30,000 people.

 

FSU Sophomore Krysten Chrystalson, a regular festival attendee, strives to answer those questions in an interview with The Black Sheep.

 

“It’s all part of the experience,” says Chrystalson, “if you’re not burning in the Florida sun, feeling like your legs are going to give out any second, and experiencing extreme dehydration, then you didn’t experience Okeechobee; you just went to it.”

 

At this point I had to ask, what the difference is between experiencing Okeechobee and simply going.

 

“Going to a Okeechobee is like when you go to a bar and order a Sam Adams,” said Chrystalson, “whereas experiencing Okeechobee is like the euphoric high you get from picking up a drifter on your road trip to California. You might be a little uncomfortable and maybe even fearful for your life, but sooner or later the drifter will get to his destination and you’ll be able to reminisce about how great it was to give that drifter a ride.”

 

I then asked if there were any other ways to “experience” Okeechobee, to which she put her index finger and thumb together and put them to her mouth and pretended to take a drag, proceeding to then fake cough for five full minutes before strongly assuring me that she was kidding.

 

“There are many ways to experience Bonnaroo,” said Chrystalson. “One way my boyfriend whom I met at the festival did it was by shoving as many people in an already crowded space as possible in a vain attempt to get to the front in time for Logic’s set. That was really hot, but for me it’s more of ‘let everyone around me know I go to festivals’ kind of thing. So what I like to do is eat an entire cow in the middle of the crowd, and I mean the entire cow: head, hooves, spots, everything. That way, the people around me know that I am the alpha festival goer.”

 

Chrystalson had to leave immediately after that comment to go to a glitter face painting class, but I’m sure that we’ll be seeing her at the next big music festival.

 

 

 

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