With winter break over and all those reindeer cookies fully digested, the guilt over the booze and sugar you consumed in the past three weeks is starting to kick in. The gym will be jam-packed so you’ll need to find alternative sources for exercise. What better way to commemorate the new year and cope with the stress of a new semester than by making a fool of yourself around campus to lose all that excess flab?
5.) Scale Century Tower:
They say that every time a virgin graduates, a brick from Century Tower falls. It’s also known that every time a freshman gains the mythical fifteen pounds (or more), the tower grows another foot. This spontaneous growth spurt allows students to work off their extra winter weight by utilizing it as their own personal jungle gym.
4.) Walk All 1,000 Miles to Southwest:
Go the extra mile. The walk to SW will most likely last four times as long as your actual work out and burn twice as many calories, but that’s half the fun! Make sure to allot yourself an entire day for this strenuous endeavor that is sure to rid your butt of all the cellulite you’ve cached thanks to Aunt Karen’s holiday ham.
3.) Climb Up and Down the Stairs at Marston:
No, do not stop to study. The majority of the student body will be drowning themselves in pools of liquor this week, so Marston will be wide open. This gives you plenty of space to use the building as your own personal StairMaster-7000. Feel free to lean against the handrail for moral, and physical support when your running turns to crawling, and your leg lifts have you turning to tears.
2.) Watch Scary Movies on the Treadmills at Student Rec:
The high suspense of horror movies makes you more susceptible to speed—you subconsciously start running away from the subjects of the movie. This kind of mind game allows you to burn calories, face your fears, and look like an idiot in front of your peers when you shriek at the sight of those bloody twins from The Shining.
1.) Run Away from the Responsibilities of Spring Semester:
The best way to dodge your obligations is simple: run. Running into the crosswalk during busy traffic flow on Newell allows you to kill two birds with one stone; You’ll get your workout in and win free tuition when one of the campus buses hits you head on.
It’s okay Gators, we’re all feeling pretty lethargic since our return to campus, so grab one last turkey leg and climb up Century until you work up enough of a sweat to convince yourself you deserve a night in Mid.
Do you like boozin’ before noon? So do these bois: