How to Cure Your Spring Break Hangover: UF Edition
How was your spring break? Did you get wildly drunk at the beach with your friends? Pass out face down in the sand? Knock over motorcycles and get arrested? Sounds like you had a lot of fun, but you probably drove back to Gainesville with a massive hangover that you know will last all week. Luckily, we have just the right solution for your spring break hangover.
7.) Gatorade, LOTS of Gatorade:
UF is known for being two things: a party school and a good school. Luckily our Gator ancestors from the 60s managed to marry the two stereotypes and create one beautiful, medicinal hangover cure. And if you’re barfin’ on a budget because you spent all your money on your spring break trip, just head to the infirmary and steal some from the waiting room!
6.) Steer Clear of Turlington:
By now we are all well aware of the fact that Turlington is the overall worst place on campus. That’s on a normal day. When hungover, the mob of loud obnoxious people in your face gets even less bearable, and don’t even mention that stupid bell tower. It’s best if you avoid the area as much as possible until your head stops pounding (or until you graduate).
5.) Bring a Pillow to the Fine Arts Library:
Pro Tip: the top floor of any library makes the best place for you to sleep off your hangover without fear of an impromptu wake up. (Note that this only works if you are a non-snorer!) If you want a little more privacy, go to the Fine Arts Library, where they have treehouse-like cubicles for you to get some R&R.
4.) Lay Down in the Middle of Plaza:
Between the soft texture of the sparse grass and the lingering scent of Krishna lunch, Plaza of the Americas is surprisingly serene. Forget the hammock; just spreading out on the ground and absorbing nutrients from the world around you should be enough to revive any hungover spring breaker. Don’t worry, people will walk around you. You might get Snapchatted, but at least you won’t get stepped on!
3.) Rub Your Head Against the French Fries:
We don’t know why this works, but it does. Go up to the French Fries, grab onto a single fry, lock eyes romantically, and slowly move your head towards its cold, yellow exterior. As soon as you make contact, start rubbing up and down and don’t stop until either your headache disappears or you feel too embarrassed to continue having PDA with a sculpture.
2.) Pray to the Bull Gator:
For all you religious folks out there, your hangover is probably just a punishment from the spring break gods for partying too hard. Go to the stadium and pray to the Bull Gator for forgiveness and amnesty from your sins. Spring break only comes once a year, so you should be fine until next time.
1.) Hit Mid!:
If all else fails, going to Midtown definitely does the trick. You know what they say, the best hangover cure is more alcohol! If you can’t decide where to go, let us help or just take the grand tour and hit every bar on University. Even in your toughest times, booze never lets you down!
Reality check: school is even harder when you’re hungover. Take care of yourselves, and cherish the memories you made over break (if you still have any)!
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