The Dos and Don’ts of Finals Week at UF

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The one week in the semester where you talk to your professors, visit your advisors or do any work at all has arrived—finals week. Here are six very accurate dos and don’ts to handling finals week at UF. 

DO Procrastinate:

Reading days at UF are NOT meant for “reading” or “studying” (whatever that is). These days are meant for you to get as blackout drunk as possible before heading to your own funeral—because finals at UF will be the death of you. R.I.P. to your soul.

DON’T Look Put Together:

Listen, we don’t like overachievers…and some of y’all at UF are so extra when it comes to having your lives together. You’re making the rest of us normal people look bad around exam time (ignore the fact that we actually look bad because we haven’t showered in a week). Don’t be so greedy; let our average asses have a moment to shine.

DO Go to Your Advisors:

Get up the nerve to head over to the Academic Advising Center and tell them you’re finally ready to drop TF outta here. Proceed to cry in front of them because they’re telling you you’re overreacting and that you’ve had all semester to prepare for finals week. Then head back to Jennings and cry—for both living at Jennings and realizing they’re right.

DON’T Go to The Library:

A chance of you finding a seat at Lib West or Marston right now is slim to none. So just stay in your dorm room to “study” this week. At least in your dorm no one will judge you for binge watching Netflix shows over watching your prof’s lectures. Who needs to be around other people working hard in order to be mildly productive? (Just us? Yikes…)

DO Eat at the Dining Hall:

We know you’ve been dreading going back to Broward dining ever since Preview. However, the best way to prepare for an exam is to get explosive diarrhea that might actually kill you—therefore missing your exam. #ThxBroward

DON’T Sleep:

Screw what studies say about needing a good night’s rest before an exam. No, what you need to do is stay up the entire night cramming in the entire semester and then hook up a coffee IV the morning of the exam to crack your way through it.

Gators, finals are no joke. Make sure to use up all the coffee you can get your hands on this week and remember: “Cs get degrees.”