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How to Feed Your Caffeine Addiction Now that the Reitz Starbucks is Dead

Since shutting down the Reitz Union Starbucks students may be wondering how they can get their daily $5 coffee fix. Here at The Black Sheep, we listen to the students’ concerns and have made a list of some tips and tricks on how to make sure your body is 90% dehydration and 10% caffeine.

6.) Sbux Takeover:
Believe it or not, there are Starbucks locations on campus other than the Reitz. If you find yourself over by The Hub, Marston, Lib West, or Sun Terrace, then you’ll be in luck. Potential con: if other students realize these exist, the lines will be long af. Combat this by spreading a vicious rumor that all the Starbs are closed.

5.) Beans, beans, baby:
One quick way to get your morning jolt is to chew on raw coffee beans! You can buy coffee beans (whole) or already ground (perfect for snorting!) at any local grocery store. Fun fact: the coffee bean is a cheaper investment than daily lattes. With only a small payment of $3.99, you’ll be able to be caffeinated everyday for a month!

4.) IV me, please?:
If you’re looking to get caffeine flowing through your body (literally) then this is the cure for you! Head over to Shands, smuggle an IV pouch out in your pants, and simply add some instant coffee. It’s a quick fix and only slightly illegal. We say the reward is definitely worth the risk.

3.) Coffee makeover:
Yes, caffeinated beauty products do exist. Most stores are ~on trend~ with coffee infused facemasks and scrubs—which will let you spend your whole day smelling like the syrup and sadness that comes with working in a coffee shop. Jokes’s on everyone else, though. You just spend the little money you have there.

2.) Dumpsta energy:
If money is a little tight, don’t hesitate to do a quick dumpster dive for coffee. Not only will you be able to find old coffee beans, and filters (which can double as a facemask), but you might be able to find half a Starbucks coffee already in there—we’ve all seen some heathen throw away their drink after it got just a little too cold.

1.) DIY Starbs:
If eating raw coffee beans isn’t really your “thing” then DIY your own coffee using the same beans from your local store. It’s cheap, affordable, and totally going to change your life. Just add water and your choice of “extras” to really make your coffee feel like it came from Sbux.

R.I.P. Reitz Starbucks. Until we meet again old friend, you will surely be missed by many (mostly those who have decided to gnaw on old coffee beans). 

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