Fortnite is basically Call of Duty meets The Hunger Games meets Lincoln Logs. But, what would the game be like if instead of dropping onto an imaginary island you dropped in to Gainesville (apart from everyone immediately finding a weapon and offing their professors that is)? There’s only one way to know for sure, but until someone gets a balloon big enough to float an RTS bus across campus, the closest we can do is speculate.
Turlington = Anarchy Acres:
Turlington is already in a perpetual state of anarchy. Honestly, it might be more tame in the game with assault rifles and grenades going off than it is in real life. At least in the game, if you make eye contact with someone the worst that can happen is you die, which isn’t even that bad anyway. The real consequence of human-to-human eye contact in Turlington can be much more dire.
Broward Dining = Tomato Town:
When you think of Tomato Town, you think of the giant tomato on top of the pizza building. When you think of Broward Dining you think of that greasy, overcooked pizza that you ate every single day of freshman year. It wasn’t even good either, just the only thing that was guaranteed to at least be edible. Just like Broward, Tomato Town simply isn’t worth going to since neither can offer you any real value.
The Swamp = Tilted Towers:
Tilted towers is both the tallest area of the map and the site of the most mayhem, making it a perfect counterpart for The Swamp. Skydiving out of a floating school bus and using an umbrella to slow your fall may actually be safer than what goes on in The Swamp during gamedays. Rocket launchers may be able to blow up opponents with one shot, but a fucked up frat boy projectile vomiting can take out an entire section of the stadium. Choose your weapon wisely.
Library West = The Prison by Moisty Mire:
Fighting for your life locked in a jail cell would be better than spending the day studying in one of those graduate student cubicles. Not even a chug jug could save you from that fate.
Southwest Rec = Greasy Grove:
If you weren’t aware, the plethora of jacked, sweaty dudes that come to Southwest every day definitely make it the greasiest place on campus. Plus, Greasy Grove is right next to Snobby Shores and there’s nowhere snobbier than the building just across the street. The Natural History Museum. Those damn butterflies think they are hot shit flying around in their very own garden all day.
You made it this far, meaing all those hours of staring at the screen trying desperately to get that first place finish haven’t totally melted your brain…yet. Maybe now would be a good time to start doing some of that homework that’s been piling up for three weeks. Actually, screw it. Your GPA changes every semester; the glory of victory lasts forever.
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