If we’re being honest, all St. Patrick’s Day does is give college students an excuse to binge drink. (Seriously, like we needed another.) Many people choose to don green clothing to keep up the old Irish tradition. However, for those who would rather do other things with green than wear it, here are the top seven places in Gainesville to engage in alternate celebratory activities:
7.) The Parking Lot Next to Lake Alice:
It looks like some seriously sketchy shit goes down in this place on the daily, so it won’t seem out of the ordinary if you and your buds decide to hang out there for the day. You should be careful, though, because the gator from Smoke City’s logo is rumored to live in the lake and beg passersby to add him to their rotation.
6.) Literally Any UF Frat House:
Don’t act like you don’t know what causes that ever-present odor in all frat houses. You know it’s the good kush. Although every fraternity will most likely have St. Paddy’s Day ragers, you can probably find refuge in an upstairs bedroom. And don’t worry if you forget to bring your stash; every fraternity requires at least 5% of its members to be dealers.
5.) The Florida Motel on 13th:
This highly suspect motel is notorious for being home to Gainesville’s finest prostitutes. Judging by that alone, we can almost certainly say that much worse things have happened in those rooms than a little illicit substance use…more like a lot of illicit substance use. And we’re talking waaaay harder drugs than the Devil’s lettuce. So go ahead and enjoy all the “salad” you want, guilt-free!
4.) Paynes Prairie:
If you look for a place to burn some tree, where is more appropriate than Florida’s very first state preserve? Become one with nature as you enjoy one of the Earth’s most precious offerings. Isn’t it totally crazy how full-circle you’ll go?
3.) The Roof of the Commuter Lot Garage:
A vast and typically empty area, the top floor of Garage 5 becomes the perfect place for you to make all your hotboxing dreams come true. Just drive to the top, roll up your windows, turn off the lights and conditions are just right for a perfect holiday evening.
2.) That Weird Alley Between Turlington and Rolfs Hall:
If you’ve ever been behind Turlington, you’ve definitely seen this creepy area and probably questioned it. We don’t know whose idea it was to put a three-foot wide alley in the middle of our school, but we should be thanking them—because there’s only one clear purpose for an alley this small and awkwardly placed. Thank you, sir or madam, for having such insight into the lives of college students.
1.) The Top of Century Tower:
There’s no better place to get high than the highest point on campus! Admire UF’s architecture and try to forget all of your failed tests and quizzes in most of those buildings. Getting up was the easy part; good luck getting down while you’re stoned!
For all you non-drinkers and Bob Marley enthusiasts out there this St. Patrick’s Day, The Black Sheep wishes you a very happy (seriously, like so happy that you can’t stop laughing) holiday!