A Judgmental Map of The Swamp

author-pic at University of Florida  

Stepping into The Swamp is like stepping back into high school for the first time (a time no one voluntarily wants to remember). Where the hell do you sit? The Black Sheep‘s got you covered with a more accurate map of the stadium. Just to make sure you know where you’re welcomed and areas you should avoid at all costs.

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5.) Student section:

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The student section includes your typical hoard of drunken students. The bleachers and stairs become packed as all the sisters, brothers, and drunken adults cram to be as close to the field as possible. If you don’t feel like standing with 50 sweating students crammed into an area meant for 10, then just head to the top of the stadium and bask in freedom of the back row.

4.) Bull Gator deck:

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Prada bags (until the clear bag policy that is), good food, A/C on full blast; this is your “you married rich” goals area. Every student sits across the field dreaming that when they’re an alumn this is where they will be seating—not with the whole little league team, or some other unmemorable persons section.

3.) Family and guests:

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This is the section you end up sitting at when you bought a last minute guest ticket for your friend. You’re surrounded by frantic mothers and their demon spawns, diaper bags, and dad’s drinking beer. Instead of hearing “Go Gators” you’ll get “Go ask your mother.” But at least you get to sit down in this section.

2.) The band:

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This area is band kids territory. If you are one of the unfortunate students who happened to get a seat behind the band, we’re sorry for your premature hearing loss. Unless you’re sweating in the uniform then get your ass out of here.

1.) ????:

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We’re not exactly sure what this area is, because quite frankly we didn’t know it even existed. Who sits here? We don’t really know. This area is irrelevant, and probably just filled with middle-aged adults, a few kids, and a whole lot of faces that just blend into the crowd.

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