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A Predicted Timeline of Hurricane Irma as Told by UFPD

 

As Hurricane Irma approaches Florida, Gainesville’s own University of Florida Police Department has taken the liberty to update students and Gainesville residents on Irma’s whereabouts.  Below are the captured texts, giving Gville an ~almost definitive~ timeline of when Irma will be gracing Florida with her presence as told by UFPD Alerts.

“UF Alert All residents in Gainesville area should remain calm as Irma plans to strike.”

“UF Alert In regards to the previous message Irma is currently forecasted to be here Thursday night.”

“UF Alert (UPDATE) Disregard the last message. Irma is being carefully followed on her route, new updates to come.”

“UF Alert robbery at Gator Liquor just moments after declaring FL a state of emergency, SW 16th Ave, suspect is a white male, early 20’, wearing a Hawaiian Shirt, board shorts, and rain boots. Possibly already intoxicated. ”

“UF Alert (UPDATE) suspect not located, area secure.”

“UF Alert Irma is now predicted to be here by Friday at 4:20 p.m., residents should avoid going outside.”

“UF Alert Irma is said to have moved east, residents can remain calm, but alert.”

“UF Alert (UPDATE) Residents, please disregard the last message. Irma is predicted to hit Florida in five minutes. Please remain inside with doors locked and away from windows.”

“UF ALERT (UPDATE) Disregard the previous message.”

 

UFPD you’re drunk. Go home and take Irma with you.  

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