The Black Sheep is happy to announce the engagement of Phi Kappa Tau and Tau Epsilon Phi! In other words, UF is hosting one big, fat, gay Greek wedding. The couple has not settled on a date but the deal will certainly be sealed before the upcoming tailgate season.
They met each other the way most do – TEP was kicked off of campus and conveniently realized they met the true love of their lives. Both currently attend the University of Florida and are seeking degrees in professional funneling. The couple, beaming in their own immaculately pressed jorts–the most ceremonial threads in a frat boy’s dresser–will be celebrated by all the reformed TEP groupies AND the loyal Phi Tau hoes.
To their friends’ delight, their engagement party was an elegant and substantial bar tab at Mid’s lamest, Grog. Even though the pair has remained mostly quiet on the subject, it’s clear that they’re basking in pure engagement bliss. After all, it’s not every day that a fraternity gets kicked off campus and gets to come back under a different name to do the exact things they were kicked off for – magic like this only every couple of years!
“We truly are overjoyed,” beamed Ryan Goldenbergstein, a former TEP brother. “It’s almost impossible to stop smiling.”
The first time the couple met, sparks flew. Their connection was palpable. After all, nothing brings people together like mutual benefit. It’s rare for a bottom tier frat to jump their way up the ranks so fast so Phi Tau knew they found the one in TEP. The Greek community is incredibly happy and excited for this marriage; some Greek members have even started sending some early wedding gifts, ranging from wine bags to cases of Skol.
“I am glad we can finally live our authentic lives,” Chad Smith, a brother of Phi Tau, gushed. “We’re queer and we’re fucking here.”
The happy couple has overcome challenges just like any other. From having to leave prime real estate on Row, to beating the outdated, ongoing stigma of gay marriage in the macho frat world, their love has prevailed. A few weeks after TEP was removed from campus, and they were in a better place emotionally, Phi Tau popped the question. Though their hands may not haze, they certainly rock an engagement ring.
Best wishes and Mazel Tov to the couple!
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