College is a time of growth. It is a time when future, life purpose, and direction are questioned. That’s more than enough for your head to spin, so why not have a good old-fashioned existential crisis? Now we know what you’re thinking, “Gee, I’d love to have an existential crisis today, but where? This campus is so darn large, I just have too many choices!” Well, fear not. The Black Sheep has compiled a list of the perfect places to have an existential crisis.
10.) Lecture Hall:
It’s the most useless building on campus that boasts two dingy rooms, and a scheduled demolition. You can stand inside and shout, “I’m not THIS useless. Someone paid a lot of money to build this, so maybe someone will pay me to do something someday too.”
9.) Your Building’s Laundry Room:
Whether you live in President’s Park or Northern Neck, this is your place to scream. Head on over to the most sound proof place on campus. Careful though, there’s not much air in there once the vacuum is created. This option is limited to on-campus students only, and not worth a criminal trespass if you live off campus.
8.) Seeing Skyline on Your Way Out of Southside:
Shit. Where do these people get their motivation from? Are they wasting their time chasing subjective beauty ideals or are we projecting our own insecurities onto them while we eat this delicious soft serve twist in a cone with extra Oreo crumbles? Hey, there’s a banana in our backpack if that counts…
7.) The New Long Communal Tables at Southside:
These strangers have a whole life as vivid and intricate as yours, and you will never know a single detail of it. Yet for this one moment, your paths cross by some Mason Plaque faith to share a silent meal. You won’t remember them, and they won’t probably won’t remember you. Could you have been best friends? Does it even matter?
6.) The Middle of a Frat Party:
You’re buzzed, have no idea where you are in relation to campus, the music is too loud, and someone’s throwing up in the corner of a dingy basement. Is this where you pictured yourself at 18? Is this fun? Are any of these people your friends?
5.) Top Floor of Fenwick Library:
In the silence, you’ll be left with the sounds of your own thoughts. You’ll know you’re surrounded by a vast wealth of knowledge, and you could use that knowledge to change the world, if only you had the time, energy, or care to read all the books.
4.) The One-Stop Checkout Line:
In Mason’s own heinously overpriced convenience store, you can stare capitalism in its cold, dead eyes and question not only the value of a dollar, but the value of your own life and meager pleasures. Is this bag of chips worth $5? No. Is your self-worth determined by your material possessions? Eh.
3.) The Walk to Your Final for THAT Class:
If you fail, does it matter? Is it a sign? If you pass, was it worth it? What are you doing with your life? This three-hour exam on the origins of salsa dance will decide the fate of your education. What even is salsa dance?
2.) Your Dorm Room Past 3 a.m.:
3 a.m. is that magic time where everything and nothing is possible at the same time. As you stare into the darkness of your ceiling and listen to your neighbors bed hitting the wall, do you often contemplate existence as a whole? “Do I even have a purpose? What happens when I die? Am I dead already?”
1.) Right Where You’re Sitting Now:
Because let’s be honest, convenience is everything these days.
Have fun, but don’t spent too much time crying and contemplating because remember, midterms are coming up and you’ll need time for that crisis too.
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