If you’ve ever driven a car in Athens, you know that the worst intersection is by far the intersection of Milledge and Lumpkin. With no left-hand turn arrows and the provable fact that all the bad drivers in Athens live in Five Points, this intersection is the perfect storm of bad. So depending on which part of the intersection you’re coming from, we’ve come up with other things you can do while you wait on your turn to go.
5.) On Milledge, Coming from the Loop:
Because you’re gonna be sitting here awhile, you can run inside any of the Five Points establishments you want while you’re sitting at this light. The list of food places on your side of the road are never-ending (kind of like the line of cars): Smoothie King, Waffle House, Jittery Joe’s, any of them. And if you walk really fast, you could probably make it to Cali-N-Tito’s and back. Because the line of cars that comes from this side of the light is longer than the Niche on a Friday.
4.) On Milledge, Coming from the Greek Side of Town:
If you’re trying to turn left on Lumpkin: forget about it. You don’t get a light of your own. Instead of realizing that you’ve been sitting in the turn lane for an exorbitant amount of time, waiting for a gap in the never ending line of cars coming from the opposite direction as mentioned above, you can take notes for your book about all the strange things that happen on Greek Row. Because odds are there’s going to be a Big-Little reveal, a Darty, and some strange cultish thing all happening outside your front windshield while you wait for the light to change.
3.) On Lumpkin, Coming from Campus:
In addition to a long line of cars that piles up on this side of the light, there are approximately 11 million bikers whose homeward-bound route involves this stretch of Lumpkin Street. While you sit at this part of the intersection, you can bolster your pick-up line success rate by screaming out your window at the oncoming biker you can see in your rear-view. Word on the street is that bikers loved to be screamed at, especially by anonymous voices coming from a car. So practice your Chemistry-specific lines for your lab partner on the unassuming biker who’s getting home faster than you.
2.) On Lumpkin, Coming from Five Points:
The lanes of this part of Lumpkin are impossibly small. The left-hand turn lane and the straight lane together make up the space of one normal-sized lane. So, as a pastime while you wait for your turn to turn, you can hop out of your car and encourage everyone to be safe by taking up both lanes. Whether the car is going straight or turning, it should have one set of wheels in one lane and the other set in the other lane. Be a good citizen. Promote driver safety.
1.) On Milledge Circle:
Congratulations! You win! When your light is green, it’s the only green light at the whole five-way intersection! Simply by cutting through a parking lot, you’ve shaved 15 minutes off your daily commute. Because you’ve figured this out, while you’re blowing past all the other cars in the intersection, you can practice getting better at looking humble on the outside, when on the inside you’re really freakin’ proud of yourself. You can use this skill in other situations, like when you ace that test where the average was a 40% or when you beat the lunch rush at Tate-fil-A.
We hope this gives you a little bit of an idea on how to spend your time most wisely while your sitting in awful Milledge-Lumpkin traffic. There are so many things you can be doing.
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