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7 Things You Could Buy Since You Didn’t Get An SEC Championship Ticket

Yes we too have had wet dreams about the fact that we’re in the championship, something we never thought we would see. It may also be something that we never see again, so excitement is at an all time high. Tickets themselves are already a little pricey and if you have to go down the resale route, you are going to have to give up your left nut/boob. But in the spirit of the event, we have a list of 7 things you could have bought instead.

7.) A new liver on the black market:
There are two things that you will lose on your way to graduation: your sanity and your liver. Unfortunately you could probably afford one on the black market but instead you bought an SEC championship ticket. But at least you will have the memories of that game.

6.) A therapist for your daddy issues:
Good medical care is expensive and if your daddy issues are as serious as we think are probably affecting many aspects of your life. A good therapist that can help solve those issues and eliminate any weird fetishes or habits that may arise from them is going to cost you an arm and a leg. Too bad you already gave up both for a game ticket.

5.) Five swipes for a disappointing Bolton meal:
How many meals have you had in your life that are better than Bolton? Probably a lot. But that money you spent on the SEC championship could have gone to another dissatisfying meal at Bolton, for the culture.

4.) Your own personal UGA bus ad:
You know when you are being shoved into the lap of a sick girl with a river of snot coming down her nose, and you look up and see an ad for the architecture school? Then you wonder why the hell the architecture school needs to advertise themselves… Well you could’ve bought one for your mug and forced every annoyed bus rider to see your ugly face.

3.) The cover charge for DJ Rx:
Let’s face it, DJ Rx is only getting more and more popular and is on the verge of being able to play a venue of more than 50 people. This is great for the up and coming DJ but not so great for every underage drunk freshman: this means a higher cover charge. That’s not something that someone who has made smarter decisions with their money has to worry about.

2.) An “okayish” bottle of tequila:
Let’s not get crazy, you aren’t gonna be able to afford a good bottle of tequila, but you could have bought an “okayish” bottle of tequila. The kind that will get you drunk and only hurt your stomach like, a little bit. Most UGA students don’t even make it to this section of the liquor store.

1.) A trophy for yourself:
No matter what happens at the game, you know who the real winner is. You could’ve bought yourself a trophy for the fact you are still alive. School is tough, surviving life is tough, not killing the useless TA is tough, so you deserve a commendation for your valiant efforts.

All of these items would’ve been a better investment as far as we’re concerned. We’ll take a jumbotron and a booth at bar south over an hour+ trip to Atlanta for a potentially devastating life event any day of the week. We’re wishing the dawgs the best of luck and truth be told we may be a ~little~ bitter we didn’t get awarded tickets.


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