If you’ve been unlucky enough to catch some news in 2017, you’ve probably come across some “alternative facts” in the headlines. Due to the recent media coverage, we at The Black Sheep have decided to give UGA some alternative facts of our own. Although UGA is a boastful school as it is, the potential to be flawless is more plausible with said facts.
8.) All Of The Food At Bolton Is Cooked By Gordon Ramsey:
That’s right; all of that delicious food that we eat everyday passes under the watchful eye of the master chef. Although the food is phenomenal, it’s hard to enjoy it over his screams from the kitchen. It’s safe to say that Chef Ramsey is a Dawg for life.
7.) President Morehead Is In Fact, A Sneakerhead:
This dude has more heat on his feet than any President of anything ever. He has been seen on campus rocking Yeezy’s, some retro Jordan’s, and even Raf Simons. President Morehead has reached peak coolness.
6.)Hope And Zell Can No Longer Be Lost:
Congratulations, you can finally slack off! Starting this week, Hope and Zell scholarships can no longer be lost. From now on, students that receive either scholarship can sit back and reap the benefits without fear of going into an absurd amount of student debt.
5.) Undergrads Can Now Walk Under The Arch:
Go ahead, we dare you. You know you’ve wanted to step under that Arch since you first started at UGA; now’s your chance. The curse has been lifted, and now you don’t have to side step and juke it every time you walk on North Campus.
4.) Midterms Are Optional (For Those Who Qualify):
To opt out of midterms one must have: maintained at best, a C average, must have attended class at least once, and must write a one page paper on why they deserve to opt out. This is the first semester that this method is implemented, so fingers crossed on keeping it around.
3.) All On-Campus Parking Is Free:
Your days of finessing UGA Parking Services can finally come to an end. It is no longer required of you to have a parking permit for the various lots around campus. Now, you don’t have to walk to class and catch that February heatstroke.
2.) Alternative Classes Added To UGA Curriculum:
Starting this Fall 2017 semester, there will be some new course options for intro level and upper level classes. These classes include DANC 1101 Intro to Krumping, PBIO 3200 Cannabis Studies, and SPAN 4000 Advanced Conversation with Queso and Margaritas. You need permission from the department for Cannabis Studies.
1.) UGA Football Beat Clemson In Actual Championship Game:
We all watched the fake championship game where Clemson played Bama. The truth is, the actual championship game was played away from the media, so that there was no distraction for the teams. Of course, nobody wants us to know our Dawgs are the actual national champions. Don’t let them fool you, this is 100% true and is definitely okay to bring up with your friends from back home.
UGA now has some alternative facts of its own. Now that you’re informed, you can spread the word about how great it is to be a Dawg all over Facebook! We know that these alternative facts seem far-fetched, but believe us; they are very, very accurate alternative facts.