The MLC has become a dorm and all the vending machines have sold out of any type of caffeine. It’s time to hunker down with all the half filled out notes you’ve taken over the semester and act like you’re pulling an all-nighter studying when really you’re just watching Netflix. If you no longer have Netflix because the account you weren’t paying for suddenly had a change in password, here are a couple other activities that can keep you occupied.
8.) Clean your Brumby dorm:
The best thing about finals week is the sudden energy it gives you to clean and do all those small tasks you’ve been putting off for months. Right about now sounds like the perfect time to clean up the throw-up that has been sitting on your porch since the Rose Bowl.
7.) Start your New Year’s Resolution:
Going to Ramsey and trying out your new Nike workout outfit that you bought for $1089 from the Bookstore in January suddenly sounds so appealing. You can’t waste this sudden spark of energy by sitting at a desk studying. It might not be until the next finals week that you feel this motivated to go the gym!
6.) Learn the entire UGA alma mater backwards:
Bro, you never know when this knowledge is going to be needed. For all you know, it could be on the final you should be studying for.
5.) Stare at the wall:
Who knew a wall could be more interesting than the class material? That’s right! You did! Feel justified in the fact that you’ve ditched this class all semester to go wait in the Tate CFA line to get food.
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Penn State – $300 Referral Bounty
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4.) Calculate all your final grades as if you’re going to make a 100 on the final:
“Wow, I only need to make a 100 on the final to get a C-! This’ll be easy!” Honey, the highest test score you’ve made in this class is a 32. You have the same chances at passing this class as Tennessee does at winning the Natty next year.
3.) Start your summer job search:
You’ve accepted the fact that your GPA is a lost cause. Now that you know you’ll have no hope (scholarship or morale-wise, the only thing to do is work your ass off over the summer so you can afford next year’s tuition money that you drank away this semester!
2.) Check to see if there are still seats in the same class for next semester:
You know you’re fucked when you don’t even know the name of the class you have the final for. In this case, the best thing for you to do is find out the name of your class, go into Athena, and re-register for the 2018 fall semester.
1.) Go DT:
You’re going to fail anyways so you might as well be drunk. The best part of failing all your finals is being able to be a 6th year and hail the dawgs for every one of them!
Good luck to all our fellow classmates out there. Just know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. If we can survive the loss of the Natty, we can survive this week. Go Dawgs and fuck the rest.
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